well . i cant believe this will be happening to me again . i wont hide it from u guys animre . and sorry slame ni aku tpu krg and semunyikn dari krg , kwn2 ku smue .dat day , on thurs , i suddenly hav a feeling that han like other gerl .so i ask hym , and he said no . i force hym to tell the truth , i said i cn feel it . and he say , fyne , puase tknk tpu . and he said yes . god , its hard . this is what the conversation . the blue is what he say , the pink is what i say . got it ?i love you bt i got std already . i really am sorry .
since when u hav std ?
1 sept .
i knw u r crying . IM SORRY . i got 1 ting to say and pls follow .he ask me to listen the song by jonas brothers , sorry . he say it mean something to hym and what he had said frm tt song . i dont want to . and he said , i will regret . then he say dierh dh kene tdo , bini dh mara . and he say , he's sleeping over at her hse . i cried for a long time at home . rabak .the nxt day , otw to sch , i was listening to sad song . as usual klau tgh sedih . then , dh nk masok gate , mate dh berair . dh nk nanges . smpai skola , msok klaz , ltk bag , gy toilet , gelap2 , srg2 , nanges . i ask aisyah for penknife . and i cut myself in the toilet . idk how i cn do it . i oways want to do , bt tk brani . tapy ni , tk tau mcm manerh boleyh buat . i knw its stupid . i regret nt to let the guys beat him that time . tau biar drg pukol smpai dierh mati pn bgs . her gf name , shahirah . and he say sorry many times . he ask me to hate hym and whatevr . mcm phm . ros tried to bring me to him , i dont want . they take the penknife frm me . they hide it . then when i get new penknife at class , they snatch it and hug me , tahan my tgn , and i cried coz i really want to hurt myself . ros said that he said to ros that he loves me more than that gerl and he swear . he said to me at msg he pitied me . he hate to see me cry . he dont let me to hurt myself and whatevr . he said he feel bad i would cut myself , ros slap him for me . today , he said he try nt to lie again to me as he want to gain back my love . then i ask if he really love her , he said , 'yes , hioww .' . thats what he said . exactly . then , he is going to tell me evrything facetoface sch reopen . well , frens , be by my side pls on that day . im so weak , i cnt go through this alone . i rmmbr fri msg nabil i said my hp bengkok coz campak , he said i deserve it . and i ask why , he said , 'tgok diri u dulu ahk .' exact word . haiz , mayb its true . well , hanafi mataer with that gerl coz his fren ask him to mataer with that gerl as drg dari dulu ttm . wth . if he really love me , he wont do it evn he was force to , right ? or mayb he will break with that gerl . haiz .im so hurt , so sad , so weak . thanks to all my fren who was there for me . thanks for hasya to let me hug u . i rmmber when i hug u , i cry more . and to all my fren who confront me , pujok me . to all who stop me from cutting myself again . i feel like buying a penknife . theres about 4 scar on my hand . not that many right ? haiz . actually , he promise nt to lie , nt to hurt me , promise to w8 for me . promise nt to leave me . haiz . bt u break all the promises . u once told me one of the reason u love me bcoz i am not like a brat . so now u think she is the one not like a brat ? right ? haiz . i need time to cure my heart . and i knw it takes a long time . really long . i will still cry evn aftr a long time this has happend . i knw . haiz . i just need to sabar . i really love hym . evn this thing makes me hate hym . makes me want hym to die , makes me want to kill hym , avoid hym and all . but i reallly love hym . haizzz . idk this would happen , again . im tired of this . haizzz . :( i feel so weak , no appetite to eat and all . very weak . mayb i deserve it , right ? haiz . ):
Labels: i cant believe this . haiz . :(, it hurts
