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♥ Tuesday, September 8, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

second post .
before i start , i want to say to ros , stop what u are doing . its stupid . i do cn , u cnt . (:
and to syafiqah , well , insyaallah i wont hurt myself anymore . dont worry and dont be sad . (:
well , yesterday me and han msg2 .
we have a talk .
and , try to baek2 ,
evn i still wont forgive hym .
well , mon he said he is going to fetch me frm faja .
so i let him be .
and , as he ask me to listen to the 'sorry' song ,
i ask him to listen 'hati yang kau sakiti' song . frm rossa .
and he did .
and he was like , 'omg ! the song , im sorry .'
well , the song is like sooo really real with what had happened in my life . so the very same lh .
thats why i ask hym to listen to that song , frm me .
he have a song for me and i have a song for hym .
well , i dont want to be a couple breaker .
and i didnt want to get hurt .
all i can do is just to be patient and try to accept all this evn i cant accept it .

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♥ My World My Life

12:33 AM



♥

My Complicate Life ♥

well , yesterday went out with farah , atiqah , diyanah and cahaya .
went to bpp and then lot1 .
we have fun .
we went to lot1 rooftop .
then they play2
bt the security was like ,
'u what old ?'
and they say 13 .
then kene halau g2 .
and so , went to ezone .
then they play to get what thing lh . bt tk dpt .
then farah , atiqah , cahaya went to bpp again , diyanah went to her grandma house .
and i , went to meet my two sis .
went buy present for my adek , and beli cake . i use 10bcks , and mom money 10bcks .
(:
oh ya , HAPPY BELATED 11 BIRTHDAY ATINAH ! MAY ALL UR WISH COME TRUE .
evn im angry at u yesterday . bt , nvm . saba .
if im nt lazy , i update the vid and pic . if nt , nvr .
and , yesterday disturb meow .
we sing a song , make our self ,
shout2 near her , and she opn her eyes soooo big and stare .
and she geram at my kakak and anoh my kakak muke ,
haha ! my adek kene gigit kaki .
and meow is sooo cute ! hahah (:
me ? nothing . evn i disturb her , she never do anitin to me . ahaha .
and ya , i will be playing bunge api this wk or nxt wk .
my sis ask to join with her fren all .
anyone want to join , msg me aite . thankyou . (:

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♥ My World My Life

12:24 AM



♥ Saturday, September 5, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

well , i went to his fs profile , his pic is full of that gerl pic . i went to that gerl profile , saw a comment on 29.aug.o9 . he said .

' hie again . jgn nakal2 . (: imy .'

idk if i lefout any sentence . but thats what i rmmbr . haiz . u mean , frm that time u love her ? haiz . well . i rmmbr u plan to wear the same colour with me during raye . green colour . and evn prom nyte still long , u say we mayb going out together to buy same baju . i rmmbr we going to sch evryday , u tke me frm faja sometimes . and u snd me hme by walking . spend our time together at sch . bt all was just memory . its all gone like that . whr are ur promises ? i wanted to cry now . bt i cnt . i listen to the song that he ask me to listen with the lyrics . i wanted to cry also , but i cnt as there is my family . tears rolling down , bt i hide and stop crying . haiz , so , mon sch reopen , we will talk . thankyou ros for going to be there later on mon . haiizzzz . :(

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♥ My World My Life

6:25 AM



♥ Friday, September 4, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

well . i cant believe this will be happening to me again . i wont hide it from u guys animre . and sorry slame ni aku tpu krg and semunyikn dari krg , kwn2 ku smue .
dat day , on thurs , i suddenly hav a feeling that han like other gerl .
so i ask hym , and he said no . i force hym to tell the truth , i said i cn feel it . and he say , fyne , puase tknk tpu . and he said yes . god , its hard . this is what the conversation . the blue is what he say , the pink is what i say . got it ?

i love you bt i got std already . i really am sorry .
since when u hav std ?
1 sept .
i knw u r crying . IM SORRY . i got 1 ting to say and pls follow .

he ask me to listen the song by jonas brothers , sorry . he say it mean something to hym and what he had said frm tt song . i dont want to . and he said , i will regret . then he say dierh dh kene tdo , bini dh mara . and he say , he's sleeping over at her hse . i cried for a long time at home . rabak .

the nxt day , otw to sch , i was listening to sad song . as usual klau tgh sedih . then , dh nk masok gate , mate dh berair . dh nk nanges . smpai skola , msok klaz , ltk bag , gy toilet , gelap2 , srg2 , nanges . i ask aisyah for penknife . and i cut myself in the toilet . idk how i cn do it . i oways want to do , bt tk brani . tapy ni , tk tau mcm manerh boleyh buat . i knw its stupid . i regret nt to let the guys beat him that time . tau biar drg pukol smpai dierh mati pn bgs . her gf name , shahirah . and he say sorry many times . he ask me to hate hym and whatevr . mcm phm . ros tried to bring me to him , i dont want . they take the penknife frm me . they hide it . then when i get new penknife at class , they snatch it and hug me , tahan my tgn , and i cried coz i really want to hurt myself . ros said that he said to ros that he loves me more than that gerl and he swear . he said to me at msg he pitied me . he hate to see me cry . he dont let me to hurt myself and whatevr . he said he feel bad i would cut myself , ros slap him for me . today , he said he try nt to lie again to me as he want to gain back my love . then i ask if he really love her , he said , 'yes , hioww .' . thats what he said . exactly . then , he is going to tell me evrything facetoface sch reopen . well , frens , be by my side pls on that day . im so weak , i cnt go through this alone . i rmmbr fri msg nabil i said my hp bengkok coz campak , he said i deserve it . and i ask why , he said , 'tgok diri u dulu ahk .' exact word . haiz , mayb its true .

well , hanafi mataer with that gerl coz his fren ask him to mataer with that gerl as drg dari dulu ttm . wth . if he really love me , he wont do it evn he was force to , right ? or mayb he will break with that gerl . haiz .

im so hurt , so sad , so weak . thanks to all my fren who was there for me . thanks for hasya to let me hug u . i rmmber when i hug u , i cry more . and to all my fren who confront me , pujok me . to all who stop me from cutting myself again . i feel like buying a penknife . theres about 4 scar on my hand . not that many right ? haiz . actually , he promise nt to lie , nt to hurt me , promise to w8 for me . promise nt to leave me . haiz . bt u break all the promises . u once told me one of the reason u love me bcoz i am not like a brat . so now u think she is the one not like a brat ? right ? haiz . i need time to cure my heart . and i knw it takes a long time . really long . i will still cry evn aftr a long time this has happend . i knw . haiz . i just need to sabar . i really love hym . evn this thing makes me hate hym . makes me want hym to die , makes me want to kill hym , avoid hym and all . but i reallly love hym . haizzz . idk this would happen , again . im tired of this . haizzz . :( i feel so weak , no appetite to eat and all . very weak . mayb i deserve it , right ? haiz . ):

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♥ My World My Life

10:35 PM



♥

My Complicate Life ♥

well , actually , many events had happened . i wanted to post , bt i chged my mind . the pic i want to put all , i delete . i wont post about it . well , only a short one . this wk , mom had buy new gosok bju . yg steam punyerh . mcm kt kdai2 bju . well , tt day beli laci bru , then saw dulunyerh masjid an-nur nyerh tudong . and wear it . pipi teklua . haha . well , tt day mom go johor , buy telinge gajah , cool uyh ! well , till here . i want to post new post .

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♥ My World My Life

10:28 PM



♥ Tuesday, September 1, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

ppl , i will be updating blog so0n aitesss . lazyy . and , idk why , im lazy to msg and all . so , update this blog so0n . insyaallah . thankyou for ur undrstnding . (: and , 20mre days to raye . (:

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♥ My World My Life

6:47 AM