Its all about OMEL

2010-09-30T05:59:00.000-07:00

i can't forget you.

but i like him.

i love you.

but i get hurt with his words.

Mr.A. ):

i've read your twitter, and, u have gf is it? T_T

2010-08-27T06:52:00.000-07:00

tmr was the last day of YOG. and it ends with a smile & tears. ): though we are not close, we've been together for 4mths. ): im going to miss u guys. ): thnkyou instructors, IC's teachers and all for this joyfull event. though we get scolding, we still had the fun and laughter. (':

i can't upload the photos here. dunno why. but i upload it at fb already. so, go there to view it. in the album, 'YOG closing ceremony' . :D

2010-08-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

hello:D first of all,

HAPPY FASTING TO ALL MUSLIMS! :D

okay, so, today mom is sick. so we cook la.:D see, kind.

er, idk what to post. well... er, okay.

tmr is the YOG actual day la! woohhooo! :D im so happy! :D so the tk sabar. ^^

okay da. i want to cook telur dadar, and, slmt berbuka puase in advance! :D

2010-06-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

idk why .the link suddenly ,some ppl ,i cant be showedup .and the 'needs & wants' part , it like become the link like that .omg . -.-" . so . im sorry ppl ): will try to fix it soon (:

2010-06-19T07:44:00.001-07:00

heey humanss (:

well ,just now got YOG .the bus will leave at 2pm but the teacher ask us to come at 1.15pm .wth ?

then at last ,she came at 1.50pm . -.-"

k so , we took SBS again .cute ~

well ya ,it was fun la just now .i just love it :D

evn i am so lazy to wakeupp .set alarm at 10am ,chnge to 10.30am .then change to 11.30am .and at last , chnge to 12pm .(: hahaha .

so lazy .

ok .so now im like so bored la. nothing to do ~

k ,so will be posting more ~

byebyee :D

2010-06-18T06:56:00.001-07:00

it's true isn't it ? (:

cos i really really want to move on .):

2010-06-18T06:16:00.001-07:00

anyone ? because i really want to move on as today is the date which state , 6th months . ):and i hate it .i'm so stupid . ):

2010-06-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

YESSS !I MADE IT !CAN ALREADY !OK ! I HAPPY ! LTR I LINK K ? ILOVEYOUALL !:D

2010-06-17T10:36:00.000-07:00

hi ,my blogskin so pretty i knw ty (: ahha ! but ! why cnnot press the link thingy2 ? )': urgh !nvm ,trying to make it good again . ):

2010-06-17T09:02:00.001-07:00

nice eh ~ :D

trueee

2010-06-17T08:56:00.001-07:00

and it's true .

imy

2010-06-17T08:48:00.001-07:00

i found this pic is nice :D and wat the picture say is true ):

a long post aftr long time no post .(: hees .

2010-06-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

hello again (:

i promised to tell abt the johor tingy and the party ryte? ok ,so here it go .:D

050610 ;

had my bdae party . the party is for my bdae and for my sister , haba :D

well , it was great :D suppose to strt at 4pm then i havent get ready yet .so yeah , my fren go eat and do own stuff la .thnks to pika for layan-ning them (: hahaha .

well . i was so sad when hairie go home la .fyi ,bdae party at my hse k .

and wen everyone went home ,more sad .and i .. well ,better not to talk bout it eh .(: hees .

er . so aftr that . lucky we play dares . haha .my dare was to say to a person 'hi !im a ig fan of yours can i take a pic with you?(:' . so i did that ! ~~ ok .then blabla ~~ ok done .oh and ! thnks to all who had come and the presnts :D love you guys .

ok .i forget when the date go johor .wait .*chck fb*

ok .its on the 080610 ..k so ,here .

we(me , 4th sis ,5th sis and younger sis) wnted to go to city square .

so smgt la go .and ,we actually took the wrong bus . and we end up at some plce of like , idk ? hha .and we lost la .then take many bus .go to Gelang Patah all .

hahhaha . so fun la .evn we are lost ,we still happy2 tke pic all .ahah .but in the end ,Alhamdulillah , we reached City Square .. (: then we plan to watch movie 'Kecoh Betul' but we were sure that the seat is full ,so nvr queue la .then we went to eat ~ the pictures at fb !:D go see !so nice tau the food :D fuhh .got the starter all . :D we buy alot of things thr la .thnks to andak :D iloveyou .

100610;

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY TO ME ! :D

THE DAY I TURN 14 ALREADY . BUT STILL ,NOT OLD RIGHT ? AHAHA .THNKS EVERYONE FOR THE WISH (:

ok .nxt ,abt that day going out .er , i think its on ....sat .:D yeah .i didnt go for YOG ,cos go out with fam . well ,kaklong follow us with adha and pika .its like the first timeshe go out with us again without ehr husband cos abg z keje (: so it was nice la .we went and walk to the SUPERB long bridge .frm whr la .idk . wht i knw ,from the starting , and reach till henderson waves ,then went vivo ~ ate at long john . we buy the jelly bean ?idk . ok . sssooo ,yeah .

the rest of the day IDK ~~~~

150610

farhan said he saw me at mc . :/

sad eh . ):

today !

went out with eena :D

msn buddies .our first date la konon .ahahha .

watch karate kid .she watch for the secoond time .actually ask my dearest b along ,myrah .

but then ,she cant la ,got training .): but ,nxt time eh syg ? (:

so , met her at Yishun . she is late .ahhahahaha .

ok ,oh and! eena is so short , and she's cute !!!:D

ahhahah .we watch the ovie at 0330 . so fun :D

and the story SSOOOOOOOO SAD . especially wen jaden smith get hit very rbk2): ksian .

i cried sey .the wayang so kecoh , when the part they kissed and got the shadow .so funny sia .ahahha. k so ,aftr watching ,we went to eat at pasta mania .(:

i ate the ............................... idk ? ahah .the rice on top got ham all ah .idk .

haha .then we went to the rooftop to play water . then we bring water frm pastamania right and the security uncle say not allowed water .we went out , take plastic minitoons , put water . went inside ,lucky no security .

then we go behind2 scrd cnnot play .then want play ,then security like see2 . then we scrd we want go out .then he say , why nvr bring cloth ?nxt time bring la .cn play .then i say ah ,oh can play ,i tot cnt .. then we went and play .till wet2 .eena was like dont want go home .ahahah !

then we went home wet2 ): hahahaha .dalah kt mrt squeezy gile nk mampos .ahaha

ok .done .(:

and ,im so sorry .the photos cnnot be uploaded .idk why .it stuck ):

i was lucky that the internet didnt close down all .so nxt time i put photos k ?(:

well ,the JB photos u cn find at my fb first (:

tc all :D

2010-06-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

hello humans (: i have super lots of things to tell you (:
well ,abt my bdae party ,and abt going JB yest .superb interesting !:D hahaha .
and just now go kaklong house .ok .
well .. i post to you nxt time with diff post ok? promise !=D
anw ! 16 more mins to my bdae :D

2010-05-30T23:34:00.000-07:00

hello humans . (:
i knw la i've not been updating since april right ?
sorry . cos i super lazy .and i realised ,i still havent link ppl .one day kay ?
well ,what i knw is that ,i'm sick .):
ok ,bye .nxt time i post ah . (:

2010-04-09T11:23:00.000-07:00

i seriously miss fai .
i've tried to forget him all these months .
but i keep on crying .when i already stop crying ,then the tears just came back .
and those memories just come again and again .
the more i tried to forget you ,the more i miss you . )':

2010-04-09T11:20:00.000-07:00

helllo ((:
let me summarise the things that hppn .
well ,i rmmbr ,my sister bought a new hp for me .which is so nice and i like it so much .ty =D iloveyou .and ,idk la .lazy to type .pics will be uploaded soon .

2010-03-31T06:38:00.000-07:00

hello [=

okay ,now i tell u what hppn last wk and this wk (:

what i rmmbr is ,go imm ,i tell right ?nvm ,then ,i cnt rmmbr ah .oh ,play with rain ~what else ?dunno .k .skip la .

this wk .

i forget still . -__________-

nvm ,yesterday and tdy ah .

yestrday got peer tut .

and seriously shit ,i DONT understnd at all ! wtf -__- fedup sia.

aiya .then raining so heavily ,and the thunder is one part ,so damn loud !

and was so shock .and evn aftr a few min ,i was like ,my heart feels like ,idk .this one kind of feeling .scrd ?shock ?idk .

hahah .but go hme ,wait till the rain slowdown abit .and walk .halfway ,got thunder .then ,i go push2 farah bag .AHHAHA !my intention is actually to have a PROTECTION !aaahha .so i push and lower down my body .hahaha .but ,she's short ,so cant protect her .then i shout ah 'cnt go under the tree if got thunder !' then they all scrd .ahha .they all is ezzaty and nadia ,farah .ahha .

then going to jelapang lrt ,got WORMS !EEEEEEEEEEEEW ~like that time ,last yr siaaaaaa .eee.

then jump3 !hahah .KEKEK !hahaa .oh .at night ,hadafi ,want ask me buy file ,then be kind hahaha .he msg me ask to hlp buy grey file .-.-" lucky i kind .go buy .nvr ask pay somemore .evn at the msg he say ltr he pay bck ((:

k then today ,2.4 for p.e .so tired .when go take the card ,then want go bck sch ,amy sick .so frm thr ,hold her hand ,walk all the way to sch .diyanah also help .(: k ,i lazy say the rest .hahaha .what i knw is ,math ,just now like shit !somemore my mood ,moodswing suddenly .-.-" then cnt concentrate at all evn i try .and dont understnd a SINGLE thing ! -___-

wth la .then suddenly i cry .dunno why .suddenly i rmmbr of fai .thats why .-.-"haiya .k la .

oh wait .have i tell u guys ?

i LOVE learning abt the history of Islam .the war ,prophet and all .i love hearing to nasyid songs from last time ,which some of them have a really gd meaning .and some ,tells us a story abt the past .like ,Zinnirah ,Sumayyah ,Asiah etc.. .and its all so nice to hear .^^ i love it [=

k done .till here .nights ppl (:

2010-03-26T10:01:00.000-07:00

hello =D
i am webcamming .((:
wee ~chck time ,1.03am .(:
ltr2 i put photo eh .i lazy to update now .i update nxt time =D
all the days .

2010-03-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

sis kpo .

'sorry ,sorry baby' .ahhaha !

aftr long persuading ..

wwwwwwweeeeee ~

POP !

the 'J' friend (:

was using tagged to hear song from my profile (:

dog .ahhahah !

3 chats only ): sad .

atiqah [=

candid ~

heeeeeeeellllo !=D see .on top ^ (: webcammy with fira(tue) and jackson(wed) .oh wait ,he gave me a new name ,Jazreel (:p.s ,ignore the background pls .unintentionally .seriously .(:well ya .

webcam so fun (: jackson dont wnt tke pic .ahahahah .got his dog .and atiqah ,'sorrysorrybaby' .ahhahaha !kekek siaaa !k ,many thing happen .but !i lazy to post .sorry eh (: .so just post pic (: oh ,just now wash the 6 new dresses .(: ahahha =D ok .tc humans .bye =D

2010-03-21T06:23:00.000-07:00

tmr opn sch liaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaao ~
wth .i nvr do hw .nvm lah .i lazy sia .
ok .im addicted to the song frm the drama 'Cinta Ixora' . 'Di Antara Cinta Dan Ego' .(:
nice knnn ? aww ~
haha .anw ,i miss friends .ALL friends .
ex=schmates all .):
i hpe i cn meet them anytime .hahaa .=D
ok .bye .

2010-03-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

HAPPY TWO MONTHS ANNIVERSARY SYAFIQAH GF ~ =D I REALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH (: AHHA .
THNKYOU FOR EVERYTHINGGG ~

2010-03-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

hello earthlings (:
the holiday is coming to an end ): and im so sad .
too many hw to do .
including my nvr come hw ):
walaoweeiiii .
just now went mc (:
do hw .but i actually nvr do .i copy .ahhahaha !
with cahaya .then amy all come .
then got this mcd staff ,girl .when see me ,always smile at me (: so friendly(: ahaha
oh ya .i seriously hate this aunty .
wth .she is SO RUDE !
i was in the toilet .and then ,she shouted .
'faster .faster .who inside ?urgent ,urgent .'
then i just kept quiet .i ignore .and the aunty ask ros ,'girl or boy inside ?'
and ros ans ,'girl' .
then ros call me ,and i just ,'ahhhh ..'cos i ignore then aunty right .
then go out ,and the aunty go in .and i was like ,wth !so tell to dee ,amy ,cahaya abt it .
hahah .then azuin also got comeeee .
what else ?ohh .just now got ngaji .
yaaaaaaaaaa .oh wait !at the mcd ,so noisy just now .irritatingggggg . -_-
pissed off siaa .
aiyyyo .
k .done ~ (:

2010-03-18T12:02:00.000-07:00

'hellohellokopiomilo!fai di sini.sorry messenger fai terlogout sendiri.geram seii!syirah tgah buat ape?' .
SEEEEEEEEEEE .that is the first msg he send mee ((:
i still remember .evn my phne is totally spoilt now .and all memories is at that phone .

2010-03-18T11:24:00.000-07:00

hihihihihi =D
okayyy .idk how many days i havent post .
so lets talk abt wed and thurs .
wed wakeup ,watch tv eat all .1plus bath .and at 2pm go out and went with nadia~
saw junjie otw to lrt ,met nadia in the lrt and saw hasya and ros inside .
okay ,so reach jelapang ,wait for cahaya .then walk to sch ~
clip up hair ,then rush to hall .and we are late for a few mins .
ahhaha .
then like center attraction like that .
went to what class ah ,to talk abt smoking bad la this la that la . -.-"
our cher is mr chan .ok .so went into groups and blablabla .
i and groups joke abt the smoke thingy ~ ((: so funny .
then draw hands and whatevr .went homeeeeeeeeeeeee .
help mum .and slack .
play comp for a few mins only ,chat with hadafi and syafiqah .
ohh wait ,before we proceed .
I GIVE SYAFIQAH GF KINDER BUENOOOOOOOOOOOO ~SEE .I SO KIND .SHE LOVE ME =DD HAHAHAH .
i give chocolate then love if nvr ,nvr love .hmph !haha .anw ,ur welcome syafiqah ((:
kk .then aftr play comp quickly dressup ,went to kaklong hse with kakak .
actually at first nvr thought of sleeping thr ,then at night feel like sleeping thr .so sleep ahh .ask sister ,she dont want .so i sleep thr alone .many things happen .haha .i cook cendawan goreng la .jempot2 la ..got make henna .kaklong do .all pic at her phne .hahah .then watch tv till sleep .(at hall) accidentally wakeup and saw abg z put on the blanket properly for me .ahhaha .ty((:
then thurs ~
wakeup at 1.06pm like that ~ text ppl .hahaha .
those who receive ,receive ah .then cook ,eat .wait for kaklong to wakup ,and lyn her ank2 .
then bath adha(volunteer) .then buy cendawan again and goreng again .
then blabla .bath ~ make henna again .then actually kaklong want send .then at 9plus ,dad call say want take hme cos he and mom at bb already .so quickly dressup and went home ~
done .
anddddddddddddddd .
seriously .guys are so DESPERATE i think .seriously shit .
until nvr talk before also want ask to be in a relationship ?!HAHAHAAH !and so .I NEED TO TEACH THEM A LESSON .not teach a lesson la .just talk to them as in some way la .to make them realise what they are doing .hhahahaha .and they dont admit they are desperate . -.-" tsktsk .okay .ohhh yaa .
now is 2.41pm .consider friday already .19march .
yest is thurs ,18march .is the 3rd months i lost contact with fai .
and today is 3rd months and 1 day .
and i still cannnnnn remember ALL things ((:
k ,bye .nytes (:
tired of typing .
and ,to ppl who needed to be relink or link ,be patient .
HAHA .
im SOOOOOOO LAZYYY .
evn its like ,mths ,i havent link ppl .sorrrrryyy eh .
just wait till my laziness gone .haha (:
oh and ,something wrong with blogskin again .need help .ahha .
it block the tagbox ): aiya .nehhmind la .

2010-03-16T07:08:00.000-07:00

hello everyone .
im so sorry that it has been a long time since i post a post . -.-"
okay ,so ,many things happened .
what i remember ,went to spore flyer with amy and her parents .what else ?went johor ..and ,many2 things .
ohhh .yesterday watch alice in wonderland .night one .so nice ((:
i watch it with mum ,sis ,and younger sis .
then it strt at 9.40pm .ends at 11plus .
then went to bazaar to buy food .
and go hme ~ the last train .((:
just now went to math thingyy .
its not compulsary actually .-.-"
okay .andand .what else ?
these few days ,been listening to good advice from my gf ,syafiqah (:
she gave me advice ,and she needs the advice too .LOL .(:
anw ,thnkyou to her (:
evn her advice made me cry ,it really touches my heart and its all so true .
seriously .
okay ,i and syafiqah dont want go tmr sia .but too bad ,must go .talk abt smoking . -.-"
haha .
okayy .ahh !i rmmbr .
that day i cry so bad .from under the block till go hme .sit watch tv still cry .
cos ,i put emok and itam downstairs .
and let them go )":
then put oredi ,i cry .and i was like ,shouting .
'emok !itam !'
imagine ah .like drama .
aahaha .then take them put at my laps ,cry .
ahahha .and go hme .go down again and sit wif them .at last ,take them back .they scrd .so pityyy .till emok sick ): now okay oredy .
just now ,go hme at jelapang lrt .got cat !same like itam .only he all black ,got white abit onlyy .i carry ,then very long ,put back .then it want follow me home .the manje2 all same like itam .hahahha .only it fat ABIT only .then when he nvr see ,i quickly go .hahaha .
so cute ~ sakinah scrd of cats lehh .
k .what else ?hmm .ohhh .just now get disturb again . -.-"
aiyooo .
mum bought kinder bueno the big pack one !FFFFFUYOHH !=D
and i havent eat from just now .hunngggrrryy .later eat ah .
anw ,havent link ppl yet .i lazy .sorrrrrry ~=D
anddddd ,chnge blogskin ,and songs (:
thnks to mech for helping me adjust the blogskin and thnks to syafiqah for giving me website for song and help me .hahah =D thnkyou ((:
okaay .done .bye ~ [=
ohh wait .and i still trying to moveone ):

2010-02-21T05:33:00.000-08:00

now i realise that ,u really ,really DON'T love me ANYMORE .that u seriously have LEFT me here all ALONE .omg .)':

2010-02-20T07:09:00.000-08:00

HELLLOHHEELLOOO !
first ,HAPPY 1ST MONTH ANNI GF !=D
kay ,so ,just now go watch Valentines Day =D
with sister ,ask ppl ,only ros reply .tu pn ,she cnt come .so sad .nxt time eh ?=D
set . :D
kay ,watch it ,so fun la .and funny .i like .=D
then finish go eat LJS .
pic at sis phne ,i dont hve phne mah ):
then ,i blnje ,but she nvr finish .
ibaratkn duet ,buang kt tong sampah ,tau tak ?ahaha .=D
okayy ,i wear the new drees .SO NICEEE ,like the person wearing it(me) .ahhaha :)
k so ,tmr schling .haiyaa .
this few days ,i sleep at bro oom when he work ,bbut wen he did not work ,i sleep outside .
reason ?lizard .
ask me what hppn if want to knw .=D
gdnytes .=D

2010-02-19T06:02:00.000-08:00

BOOOOO !
okayy ,just now ,was late to sch .
bell rang ,step into sch .so gd kn ?
i off my alarm ,accidentally .
then wakeup ,saw my sis dressing up to go to sch ,i was like ,'why nvr wake me up ?!'
and she say she dunno that i go sch .idk what she mean .
coz that time was like ,7am already !i was so rushing .run all .
then blablabla .hadafi kept sayin ,'i cant take it anymore ..' .
and i told him to shutup and i get angry .
like ,pmpn gatal !serious .so irritating .
ahahha .theeenn finish sch ,go hme .suppose to be in sch back at 1.50pm for going to the healthzone thingy .but i come late .go out of the hse at 1.50pm .gagaga .evn its suppose to be the time to reach there .i was being FORCE to go u see .
k then ,only the 7 of us .and NO sch bus .then 4 of us ,me and hasya and two of our seniors ,take taxi .i hail the cab ehh !then ask the malay uncle cn or not go there ,and he say cn .
so go ~
i prepare sweet .haha .DUH ,later headache mahh ~
then the 3 of them ,tke mr mazri car .
then reach already ,say thnkyou to uncle =D
then blabla .ke photos using hasya phne .i tke with this boy =D
its not a human .a doll sitting .but its a guy .idk what the word should be .so i talk2 to the boy .and cher was like ,'you talking to who?' and i say ,'this boy la ..' .=D
ahaha .so long i talk to him =D
i miss seeing him .ahha .then tke pic with a car . :D
then go hme ,arnd 4plus ,almost 5 .get a drink ,yoghurt .then must take MRT !wahh ,so long journey siaa !
frm whr ,idk.outram park eh ?the station .is thr any of that station nme ?idk ah .then alight at ..erm ,idk .then go cck .then fajar =D
idk how to walk .only when i hear cck ,then i knw .haha .=D
before taking the MRT cher got ask la ,want tke bus or MRT ,which one we prefer .he ask me and sya .the bus ,190 ?IDK .forget .haha .then idk how tke bus .so follow senior uh ...
then reach hme at 6.15pm .walaoweii .at the mrt ,till lrt .nvr sit .like ,1hr plus like that .DAMN tired i tell you .till now ,leg pain .
then eat at hme ,abit .i hungry .hvnt eat now .
watch tv for awhile ,sleep .
nvr go ngaji .i tired .
then wakeup ,watch tv for awhile ,came online =D
thats it .:D
tc ,nytes .byebye .=D

2010-02-18T05:17:00.000-08:00

hello peeppzz .=D
just now i didnt go sch ~=D
okay ,then msg ppl but all nvr reply ,except gf =D
lazy to go sch la tmr
oh yaa ,got so man test just now .
nxt time must take .
anw ,watch SANTAU just now .
its funny .evn its suppose to be scary .haha .=D
idk why ,i like to use this smile now ,=D
i feel sleepy .
urgh ,nono ,headache .
tmr got the healthzone thingy .must go thr .
k done .

today ,exactly the two months ):
i miss you still ):

2010-02-17T05:07:00.000-08:00

hello !
im so happy la !
i had get the consent form to the YOG already !with bishan park secondary if im not wrong .we will be combining with them .(:
the students that signed-up for it all get it .
damn EXCITEDD LA !
and ,fri nid go healthzone .-.-"
my cca is like whatevrrr ~
seriously .
oh ya ,HAPPY 14th ADVANCE BIRTHDAY TO ATIQAH !
iloveyou !

and ,little did i realise ,tmr is also ,the two months this has been happening .
the crying all .
):
and i still ,cant forget you .

2010-02-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

assalamualaikum (:
so ,i wakeup so early .
at 8plus ,mom wakes me up ,ask want follow go jb or not .
then ,i go la ,with aunt ,uncle ,mom ,dad ,younger sis .
i was so mabok .had a bad headache .until need to open the window .
insyirah ,you are such a menyusahkn .
oh ya ,bought so many things .(:
2 drees .rubber band ,scarf ,eyeliner ,eyeshadow ,mascara .
thats for ME ONLY .
the rest ,buy for family other things .
mom signed up avon .
i saw so many food .gaagaagagaga .
so buy and buy and buy to bring hme (:
so happy .hahaha .
oh ya ,thnks to ucu and ucu siti .they belanje most of the things .refuse to let us pay .
evn my two dress .
oh ya ,we had breakfast at whr la idk .then afternoon ,eat at seoul garden at thr .so nice (:
then blbalbaablabalbla ..walk222 ..
go hme arnd 7plus .
done .(:
im so tired .
and yaa ,its not in order .if u knw what i mean .it should be breakfast first then shop and all .nvm .
oh ,this few days ,i've been crying again during night comes .):
nvm .
twoo moree daysss .
goodbyeee ,nytes .(:

2010-02-14T05:49:00.001-08:00

time passes .
everything passes by me .
all of them ,moves on .
but i missed it .
cause i cant move on .
i sat and cry .
i just can cry ,without trying to moveon .
i've tried to moveon before .
but oh dear ,i can just cry again .
i can just remember of you again .
my imagination of you ,just cames back .
those memories ,dont want to fade away .
they keep on coming and coming to my way .
it was no use .
keep on trying ,but to no avail .
to me was ,to just giveup .
no need to moveon .
just cry .
cause ,i dont want to forget you .
i cant survive without you .
im lost .
but ,i dont want to wakeup from this dream .
even its a worse nightmare of all .
let me hear those words again .
let me feel you again .
let me hold you again .
let me do all kind of stuff with you again ..
reading the old conversation between us ,wont cure my heart ..
nothing can heal my heart ,except you .YOU .you ,FAI .

2010-02-14T05:31:00.000-08:00

goodnight everyone (:
just now ,last min bath .so fast dressup all to meet farah at zhenghua cc .oh ya ,saw ridzman and his friend .
we watch kuda kepang with azuin ,amy ,diyanah ,ezzaty .
thats all ryte ?
then at there so fun .so much laughter .
then go hme at 8.30pm evn it has not finish yet .
oh ya ,i was so scared just now .
while walking ,got a group of the rider mc .
then so many of them ,i just walk .
then ,they disturb ! ):
they was like ,'adik ..adik ..dik ..'
i ignored .
and one of them sing the song sand by nana & achik .
he sings like this ,'nana ,nana dgrlah syg ..'
then i walk so damn fast and my heartbeat was like ,so fast .WOW .
i was damn scared la .seriously .
oh wait ,if fai were with me ,he will surely protect me and i wont feel scared ,right fai ?):
and ya ,tmr ,is the 2mths i last met you .and 18th ,2mth i lost cntct with you .
oh ya ,i miss you fai .):

2010-02-13T05:07:00.000-08:00

i miss you ,miss you so bad ..
i don't forget you ,oh it's so sad ..
i hope you can hear me ,i remember it clearly the day you slipped away
was the day i founded it won't be the same ..
i didn't get around to kiss you ,goodbye on the hand ..
i wish that i could see you again
i know that i can't
i've had my wakeup ,won't you wakeup ?
i keep asking why ..
and i can't take it ,it wasn't fake it ,it happened you passed by ..
now you're gone ,now you're gone ,there you go ,there you go
somewhere i can't bring you back ..
now you're gone ,now you're gone ,there you go ,there you go
somewhere you not coming back ..
):

2010-02-13T04:57:00.000-08:00

hello humans .(:
basically ,today wakeup help mom ,sleep again .
and wkeup ,watch tv and all .
oh ya ,make vid with sister .(:
we dance .actually she decided making it as she strted dancing and i behind her ,saying i was her shadow and i follow how she dnce .and she said cool so make a vid .
but in the end ,i dnce my own .ahass .
well ,just now play the bandoo winks and emoticon all with eirwan .
so fun (:
and i laugh and laugh non stop .thnkyou for making me not feeling sad (:
but then ,i hve no mood to talk to ppl .i mean ,ppl msg all i nvr reply .evn my p8 is so many .nvr use .
i hear songs ,and just cry again .
suddenly ,i miss you again .
hais ):

when you're gone pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone the face i came to know is missing too
when you're gone the words i need to hear to always get it through my day and make it okay ,
i miss you ..

2010-02-12T06:47:00.000-08:00

YESS !I NOW KNW THE SONGGG !!!
ITS BY AVRIL !SLIPPED AWAY !(:
OKAY !BEST (:
OH YA ,I FORGET ,I BORROWED THE BOOK THAT IS BEST (:
K BYE ~

2010-02-12T05:43:00.000-08:00

hello ~
well ,yesterday i slept at 3plus in the morning .
lucky just now no lesson .
oh ya ,CNY concert was damn fun la !
MUCH BETTER THAN LAST YR !seriously ,so fun !
im so happy .ahha .and ,my sister perform in drama .acted as the maid .haha .cute ~
see la ,who her younger sis (: haha .
thenn ,the performance were all great (:
we won the first prize for the lower sec ! (: 2N1 go !
when the tiger picc appear ,i knw its our class la .
hahaha .(: im so happy .then mr kok win also for the best costume .and ms farah .and who else la .
yesterday i randomly search for songs at youtube right ,then found this one song .i found it nice .but idk the tittle !):
urgh ,who knws the song ?

2010-02-11T09:24:00.000-08:00

gdmorning ~
just now sleep in the afternoon ,wakeup at 1045pm .so gd ryte ?
then play comp all .
till now .just now chat w ppl ,play checkers w tirath .but now all sleep .tmr sch mah .
syafiqah will not be coming tmr .
been randomly type in and find songs .
and i fnid songs that are sad and basically ,it amkes me cry .
oh ya ,too many things happen ,and i forget what is it all .
a few more days ,it will be going to be 2mths .):
okay ,1.27am now .i think arnd 1.45am then i logout .
tc ppl (:

2010-02-08T03:12:00.000-08:00

second post ~
well ,i hve math level test tmr .
wish me luck .
pray for me that i'll pass and when the ppr is infront of me ,i still cn rmmbr evrything .
ahhas (:
oh ya ,my p8 low .so ,im sorry if i didnt reply ur msgs (:
sape2 baek ,topupkn eh ?ahha .thnks .(:

2010-02-08T02:33:00.000-08:00

hello (:
i want to talk about yesterday and today .(:

07.02.10
wokeup arnd 5.15am .at that time ,was still sleepy .cos get only arnd 3hrs of sleep .
then bath ,and aftr bathing ,i was like should i go or not ?
then parents suddenly didnt let go .
so i cried ,for almost 30mins .hahaha .then almost 7am ,mom said ,'go la ,go la...' .
then i rush uh .cos should be meeting them at 7am .hahah ,so ,aftr dressup ,meet Ziee and Nelly at Jurong East .cos they already at there .then meet Khai rudy(one of the pelakon) at commonwealth .then come all his friends .WOAH !so many .me and Zie dont knw anyone .so we just keep quiet and make friends .(: then its actually not an audition .-.-" but we acted as and extra .hahaha .i was really scrd if my face was like on the tv ,cos they closeup at my area all .at there meet many actress and actor .Yong is so cute .he is actually very quiet and shy sia .haha .oh ya ,nvr go madrasah yesterday .haha .well ,me and Zie went home first after we took two scene .arnd 1.30 we walk away .cos she meeting her friend and i going johor .idk what happen .anw ,it was really riring ,one scene ,idk how many hrs they take to do it .it keep on repeating and repeating .rehearse and all that .but yeah ,i not sure if iw as at the tv .i hope not .haha .so ,for your safety ,dont watch it la .(:ahha .then ,went hme ,bath ,dressup again and went to greenridge ,meet sister there ,eat and went off to johor .oh ya ,i last went to johor when i was 7 or 8 yrs old .hahah !and the passport i make during 2005 ,and it was blank !2010 then i go johor !AHAHA .then went hme at almost 1am reach hme .i was too tired till at hme ,i walk like a drunk person .then almost 2am ,went to sleep . ~

08.02.10
wokeup at 7.20am .i set my alarm at 7.15am ,but i didnt hear it .so ,bath and all .dress up ,go sch .actually ,this is the main point that i want to say la .otw to sch ,at the lrt station theer ,i saw this guy ,HIS FACE IS EXACTLY LIKE FAI !serious !i was looking at him .but it's nt Fai la .only that his face ,looks so similar !OMG !and then he reminds me of Fai .): then i sad ): .reach sch ,then as usual ,hw do at thr .ahah .Hadafi say i pro at copy-ing .ahha (: then blabla ..and ,i've moodswing .and those who irritates me ,i scold them .sorry .the during lifeskill ,i close my eyes .i sleep ,but actually i cnt sleep .then wakeup when bell rings ,woah ,like alarm clock .ahha .then my eyes was half open .ahhas .then aftr sch ,went to pack2 the valentines day thingy for the cca .then went home with Liyana arnd 5pm . ~

2010-02-06T06:11:00.001-08:00

ku sering terbayang ,kenangan kita bersama ~
after u left me ,i think i've changed .
and i hate it tough .
because of you ,i've changed .):

I WANT

2010-02-06T05:09:00.000-08:00

i want to go !
now i feel like crying !):
yana ask me to go audition acting !
I REALLY WANT TO GO !
BUT MY MOM DONT LET !! ):
I WANT TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !

2010-02-05T18:22:00.000-08:00

third post ~
actually i no need to post this la .
i just ,i've been crying for the past 15-20mins in front of this desktop here .
and someof my tears drop at the computer table .there are two of them .the rest just drop at ,idk whr .):
*wipe away those tears*
my tears at the computer table is COLD .okay lame .
actually i tot i wont be crying anymore .
but i still cry .
idk why .oh shit .my tears want to comeout AGAIN .
wtf la .haiyaa .
actually on the starting of 2009 ,i get hurt ryte ?yaaya .
then it happen the same .like same as in the month la .
and i was thinking ,if we were still together ,im sure u will ask me out duting Valentines Day kn ?
): *crying*
omgomg .nonono .
i need to stop here .byee

2010-02-05T17:21:00.000-08:00

second post .
omg ,i was listening to apit songs la from just now .
kate minat mahh .then i listen to his his ,'Tembok Derita' .
i listen from long time ago la .
but then ,i found out another one ,this girl ,she RE-make it to a LOVE VERSION one .
its so sad ): seriously ,i hearing it now .
and i cry ): arrgh .
): so sadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd .

semua itu tak akn kembali lagi ..

2010-02-05T16:53:00.001-08:00

hello again .(:
sorry for not updating .
well ,i forget what happen for the past few days .
but i remember what happen yest. during DNT lesson (:
we (me ,farah ,atiqah and ezzaty) win the strongest straw tower for our class !
im so glad .(: ALHAMDULILLAH .(: i hope we win for all of the class competition .anw ,ours cn put till 19blocks .should be cn put more uh .only that the block dont hve oredi .we were so semangat making it .well ,then got DNT test .imnotconfidentiknwiwillfail .):
well ,just now wokeup at 6.13am .kakak wake me up to help mom .
oh yaa ,currently ,hearing songs ,texting with hamka and ashraf ,fb and chatting with amirah (:
lately ,i've been crying again .
idk why ,sometimes ,its like ,i was sitting or lying down ,and my tears just flow out of my eyes .
all of a sudden .like now ,its because of hearing songs .
somehow ,i still can't forget you .
somehow ,i can still remember everything we did and talk together .
urgh ,almost 2months .):

*crying*

memang khilafku menyanyangimu ,memang khilafku menyintaimu ,tapi ku tahu semua itu tak akan kembali lagi .bukanku pinta segunung janji ,tidakku harap sinaran ini ,cumaku ingin setulus kasih kesetiaan kekal selamanya ..

2010-02-03T04:56:00.000-08:00

hello .
well ,just now at sch was ,okay la .
so many things happen .
been listening to 'Sayang Maafkan Aku' song .
its so sad .
and now ,i feel like crying .
if fai would sing that song to me ):
but lucky theres my friend to talk to me .
play pantun all .
so ,i can hold back my tears ):
and ,i dont have mood ):
byeee .

2010-02-02T04:52:00.000-08:00

hello humanities .
okay ,so ,just now at sch was ,okayokay luhh .
but idk how ,i get sad just now suddenly .
cos of fai ):
so ,at sch msg2 with eirwan and isma (:
then got hist. quiz .i didnt learn .so i do all anyhow . -_-
the last time quiz i got 6th position .hahss .
then got peertutoring .-.-"
then aftr that go hme .
currently chatting with eirwan ,aidil and teddy .
and listening to youtube ,my mom want to hear the song 'ya maulai'
so must let her hear .haiyaa ..haha
yesyes !soon just for laugh asia will strt !
okay ,will stop posting heree !
byee ,tc !(:

i cried when writing this post .

2010-01-31T04:30:00.000-08:00

i still remember the days and times when we are together .
i still remember every words you speak .
i still remember every movements you make .
i still remember every actions you do .
i still remember the smell of you .
i still remember your jokes .
i still remember your smile .
i still remember your laughter .
i still remember you .
i still can't forget you .
evn it will be two months soon .
do you still remember what you had done to me ?
do you still remember the promises and the swear you made to me ?
it's true i may not forget you now ,but will forget you in the future .
but how long more will it takes ?
if you were to come back ,and ask for forgiveness .
and u wanted to be with me again ,i will forgive you .
and sometimes ,i wish that you would sing a song for me .
a song to say that you miss me ,you are sorry ,you regret it ,you wanted to be with me back .
i wish that you would say that you love me .
but will that ever happen ?
it won't .so let it be a dream .
cause i still dreaming about you everytime i go to sleep ..

2010-01-31T04:00:00.000-08:00

terdiam dan aku terpaku
pada kehidupan yg harus ditempuh ..
kesemua jln telah ku teraju
tetapi blm ada yg ku temu ..
siang dan malam aku bertanya ,pada diruku yg tidak bermaya
siapakah yg sudi utk bersama ,menjalankn kehidupan yg merana ..
mengapakah ,derita harus melanda ..
dlm hidupku ,mengapa sengsara harus ku alami ..
haruskah aku tempuhinya dgn rela hati ..
dgn cabaran dgn kehidupan yg hitam ..
tk akn ku kenang ..
walaupun ini semua cabaran dengan dugaan dari Ilahi
tak akn ku putus hasratku ,dan tetapku berdiri selama ini ..

its a song .haha (: but its for me .ahahss .(:

2010-01-31T03:22:00.000-08:00

hello humans .(:

well ,just now otw to madrasah ,saw azuin and amy .

aku tau aku cute ^^ psl ikot krg .hahas ,lol la .

kay so ,suppose to reach at 1230 but went out of the hse 1230 .

hahss .then at madrsh txt with eirwan ,aidil ,farah and mila .

then blabla and walk hme with my madrasah fren with bubble tea on our hand .(:

went hme ,watch tv ,sleep ,watch tv and come online .(:

currently now listening to 'Two Is Better Than One' ,facebook-ing ,chatting with renny and isma .and also ,texting with aidil .

and ,idk eh ,eirwan suddenly silent after i ask him why he say that thing ,then i ask why ,he did'nt reply .p8 low maybe ..nvm ,forget abt it .

well ,theres too many hw .and i havent do ALL .):

idk what hw and i lazy to do .

tmr sci got test or ca ?idk ..havent study .

lucky only one chapter .hahass .

okay ,i end it here .(:

byebyeeee .

those date (:

2010-01-29T18:03:00.000-08:00

09.11.09
the day when we started to msg and become more close .
06.12.09
the day when we first met .
07.12.09
the day when we lepak at fajar .
07.12.09
1.10am-2.15am otp .
08.12.09
the day when we suddenly 'overthelimit' abit .
09.12.09
in the morning at 1plus u confessed .
11.12.09
you send me the christmas msg that u want me .
15.12.09
we met again .and that was the first time and the first time you say the word i love you to me face to face .
15.12.09
that thing controls you again .
18.12.09
contact for a few mins .then lost contact .
18.12.09
the last time you say the word i love you so much to me .

and ALOT more of DATES to be put up .
but since there are too many ,i put some only .some i didnt put .
so i take it as 18.12.09 u leave me .
evn on the 18.12.09 ,that is the last time you promise me again that u really wont leave me and u wont like other girl .and many promise u made on that few mins .(:

2010-01-29T07:27:00.000-08:00

hello human beings .(:
basically ,now listening to 'Tears Don't Fall' and chatting .
thats all .boring .
oh wait ,i need to write something for my mom .
*writing*
kay doneee .
well ,idk what to talk la actually .
oh ya ,so many hw to do .
andand ,just now got fire drill ,so the waste time -.-"
just now go ngaji .
well ,im so hungry .
havent eat ):

sometimes ,when i went out ,i wish that i could meet you .
or maybe u will be waiting to say something to me at somewhr .
):

2010-01-28T05:32:00.001-08:00

hw havent do .
lazy and no mood .
dissapointed ,sad .
):
feel like crying now . -.-"
this feelings that im having now is just watevr la .
haiss .
history repeats itslf .
seriously .
it keeps on repeating and repeating all over again ,non-stop .urgh .
havent eat yet ):

it chewed out my heart ,it crushed my pride ,it ripped out my heart apart,why did you leave me ?

2010-01-27T06:44:00.000-08:00

helllo ,sorry for not updating .
mls .
yestrday cuci dapo .best gile nk mamposss !
seriouss (: aku smgt sak cuci ,smue dh stop ,aku maseh kt dapo cuci .(:
so ,today ,early in the morning ,i set my alarmed at 6.15am .
end up ,wakeup at 6.50am .
see ?i am so lazy to go to sch .
then ,cpt2 mandi and klua .
oh ya ,at sch ,i signup for the YOG .
SO EXCITED LEHHH !(:
mintak2 dpt .(: amin .
then at class ,suddnly Wan msg me .
i tot who .he using he's fren num .
kay ,soooo .
just now as usual evry wed hlp mum .before that i sleep la .
then aftr help ,i rest then bath then go bpp wif cahaya .
arrive at bpp ,must passby the mc ryte ,then inside got sch boys .
when i pass by ,all of them turn and look at me .hahahah .-.-"
then go library .returning and borrowing of books .
then go aries buy cekak .
then buy icecream and walk hme .(:
thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ,go mc ,do math .
only do abit .SUSA GILE NK MAMPOSSS .
seriousss uh .
then go hme straight away go watch Bubble Boys .
hahah .oh ya ,yestrday watch Dikir Putri .best .(:
at mc ,i dont like the staff .minah .and she imitate what i say -_-
oh ya ,bile lit bingets sak aku !aku mengaku klau aku terlalu binget sgt ,aku cn nanges .-.-"
then ,cikgu ,amek file aku ,abeh aku anoh salah kn ,then da mara ,fine uh .tk psl .
TAPI ,YG BUAT AKU BINGET ,KAU TK PERLU CMPAK !
DIE CAMPAK AKU PUNYE FILE TAU !BOLE LETAK BAEK2 APE !
BINGET SAK !URGHH !-_-
andand ,i lazy to link or relink now .later kay ?(: sorry all (:

kau bole stop kcau aku tk ?daripade aku tk maki ,aku maki kau sakk .kau BODO sgt ke ?asl mesti tnye aku ?!byk2 org tnye aku pe ?FUCK YOU LA .ape maksod kau ?!MOTIVE kau ape skrg ?! ?!pls la .dari that time bodo .kau ckp aku knw better ?ape maksod ?fike aku pena buat pe ?!yes ,mmg kau tk ckp ,tapi asl kau ckp gtu kn ?COMMON SENSE LA !WTF LA !kau jgn nk fike nnt aku ade rase pape uh ,binget ade la .fuck la kau .

iloveyoulaamirah ! ^^

2010-01-24T01:12:00.000-08:00

helohelokopiomilo !
okay ,why am i using HIS line ?
kay ,soo ,currently chatting with my new affair on fb (:
and ,chatting with fira also .
andand !ya ,
i am in a relationship with AMIRAH now !
on 24th jan 10 ,at 4.59pm (:
ahhaha .syafiqah im so sorry .
nvm luh ,we both had affairs with others
hahahahah !
omg ,fb chat is like so late la it send .
-_-
so annoying like that .

kay now ,going to talk abt GUYS .-.-"

first story ;
got this one guy on tagged so the whatevr la ,seriously .
he was like ,snd me msg at tagged and ask me to msg he wan ask something .
so i ask him to ask me at thre .then he say that his fren saw my pic and want to make frens ,he say his fren like me .-_- pfft la .its like so lame like that .then he say what la ..many uh .then last2 i lazy entertain i say 'bye' .ahahah

second story ;
got this one guy ,keep disturbing me .
i mean ,so irritating at msn .
i nvr entertain then just dont talk la .
then he keep asking thing all .
so at last ,i deleted him frm msn !
HAHAHAH .

third story ;
its happening now .this moment .
this guy ,suddnly ask me to meet him .
he ask i single ryte ,then i say ya .then he ask meet him .he say want make fren .
i say la ,at here(msn) also cn make fren wat .
then he say ,why ?i busy ah ?
then i say no i lazy .
then he say okay and laugh .
LAME LA .

IM SO LAZY TO ENTERTAIN SUCH GUYS .
PLEASE .

kay done .thats all (:
byebye .tc humans (:

2010-01-23T01:42:00.000-08:00

God ,thankyou so much for everything .
you show me the truth .
yes ,i didnt see it .i didnt evn get to hear from his own mouth that he had leave me .
but from what i did ,at last i knw what he had hide from me .
he left me in darkness ,but at last u tell me all .
thanks so much .
evn i've done wrong ,i also try to do something all to myslf ,
You still help me ,and i still survive evn it has hppn mny times .
please give me guidance .
show me the right way to go .
or im going to lost again .
thankyou .(:

now ,i need to live ,survive and soon ,try to move on .
all i do now ,will be alone .
NO MORE FAI IN MY LIFE .
he will not keep me accompany anymore .
accompany me when im bored ,lonely .
accompany me to slack ,to go out .
now who will accompany me do all that stuff ?
who will call me ,'underage kid' ,'little dweep' ,etc ,anymore ?
no one .
nvm ,i'll still treasure those moments .
thankyou so much MUHD FAIRUZ for all of this .
thanks ..):

im trying la

2010-01-22T06:41:00.000-08:00

third post for the day ,cancan ?
well ,is it if the possesed thing didnt happen to you ,all this also nvr happen ?
haiya ,nvm uhh .thats it luhh i guess .
no use uh finding him .
im so stupid la i think .haha .urgh -_-
well ,the advice and the saying that touches me most is from my friends and my beloved sister .
friends is ,mech and syafiqah gf .beloved sister is ,nh la (:
basically ,their words to me actually makes me to be like ,not being selfish too much la .
well ,im trying to moveon .
u guys pray for me (:
please ,thankyou (:

nilai cinta padamu tiada batasnya ..

2010-01-22T06:20:00.000-08:00

malam ku merenung kenangan masa silam
ku cuba memahami apa sebenar terjadi
mungkinkah salahku ,ataupun sikapmu
hingga cinta kita ketandusan ..
telah ku ungkapkan ,engkaulah segala
namun padamu itu semua tiada bermakna
apakah maksudmu ,masihkah kau ragu
nilai cinta padamu tiada batasnya ..
kini ku sedari perasaan hati
tanpa engkau disisi tiada guna ku begini
inikah balasan di atas keikhlasan
hingga diri ini disingkirkan
mengapa aku disini masih menanti dan menyanyangi
walau hati disakiti ,tidak terlintas untuk membenci
kini baru ku sedari ,atas kehadipan diri
segala janji2 kau mungkiri ..
biarlah aku disini ,mengubati luka di hati
setia aku disini ,menanti dan terus menanti
walau apapun dugaan ,akan tetap ku harungi
sehingga nadiku terhenti ..

okay ,its basically a lyric (:
its sad right ?
andand ,u should listen to this song la fai .
okay ,bye .

i had a great day (:

2010-01-22T06:14:00.000-08:00

hello hello hello .
i just came bck just now when its almost 10pm .
kk ,im so tired right now la .
seriously .
go campfire thingy .before that at sch ,i stybck uh ,coz got meeting CCA .
then go hme then bath then dressup then go out .
meet ezzaty and ros at fajar .
then waited for farah and atiqah at jelapang .so late .
soso ,then go oredi ,at sch saw many fren (:
and ya ,forgot to mention ,i make frens with the 1T2 ppl ,some uh (:
during campfire ,play2with firah .and with all la .
also got hairie ,ridzman .
ya ,so ,aftr all finish go hmee .
currently now ,im listening to 'MERENUNG KENANGAN' .
always that song right ?haha (:
ok ,till here ,going to post a new one ^^

oh god .

2010-01-21T05:36:00.000-08:00

hello2 .
well ,SYAFIQAH going to marry DIYANAH nxt mth la .
so ?i going marry FARAH too la .(:
too many affairsss (:
well ,played MURDERER just now in class .
with the MALAY GUYS and some of the MALAY GIRLS .
before that play TURTH OR DARE for a while .

yeah ,honestly ,i cried again .
dunno why eh .cos i listening to the song ,i criedd . t.t
the song matches me .seriously .):
that day right ,when i want sleep .
suddenly rain for awhile lehh .
then i look outside window uh ,i see the rain right
it suddenly reminds me of FAI and me when we at the CCK block thre .
then i suddenly cried .
i think i cant see things which are related to me and him .
the things that we've done before or the things that we've seen before together .seriously ):
and ya .my hp will be totally dead soon .
so i must read my msgs with him many times before i cant read it anymore .
but all the msgs when before we confess to each other one la .
the msgs that he confess ,and after we confess all delete already .scrd ppl see .
only one ,he snd me abt christmas ,some sort of like , 'i want you for my christmas present' thingy .
mine special uh he said .coz others at the behind like forward2 one .
but mine dont have .he said mine special ,diff abit .(:
wait ,its memories la .haiya ):
still thinking that it is still happening now .):
wth la .

actually im tired oredi la doing all this stuff all .
cry all .
but i just cnt forget him .
until when must i live in ques ?
i mean ,just ans the simple ques cn ?
why u did this ?
why u leave me ?
why u break all ur promises and evn ur swear .
since when u did all this to me ?
since when u hve gf ?
then ,why in the first place u told me u love me ?
but in the end u leave me ?
meaning in the first place u really truly say with all ur heart or what ?
its simple ques what .then ans la .):
please Fai ):

married to syafiqah , and the sad story again ): (must scroll till down)

2010-01-20T05:10:00.000-08:00

TODAY ON 20TH JAN 2010 ,at 1.48pm ,me and SYAFIQAH GOT MARRIED !MUST TAKE NOTE OKAY !(:

*CRYING*
so sad ):
i pitied myslf .
i really am crying .
i called him two time ,he pick up .but just silent .then put down .
third time ,he silent again ,so i try to say ,'hello ..fai ..fai ..'
he nvr say anitin .silent ,then he put donw again .
im tired ):
i just wntd to knw why u did this cn ?thats all .
did u patch back with ur ex ?is it ?):
haiss .if u meet me ,then u tell me everything ,then we are done .):aftr i cn forget u totally ,cn we just be friends ?haiss ):

this is what my mind say to me .
insyirah ,cn u just move on ?no use on loving that guy .he doesnt love you anymore .he leaves you just like that !dont you get it ?dont be stupid cn ?u are not worth for him insyirah .LOOK !there are thousands of guys outside there !and who knws ?maybe some of them likes you !so ,cnt u just forget that guy ?dont make urslf suffer .he's not worth it la .doesnt mean u *not allowed to put* ,then u dont want to forget him at all right ?now what ?u want to hurt urslf again ?STOPIT CAN ?LISTEN TO PPL ADVICE !JUST FORGET HIM !

and after my mind says that ,i replied with my heart .
i dont want to be stupid .but i just love him .i knw i shuld listen to ppl advice ,i knw he does not love me animre .i knw he's not worth it .i knw theres plenty out there .i knw i shuld moveon .but i dont want ..):plsss ..):when i love ppl ,they break the promises that they make to me ,so why not i break my promises that i made to myslf ?why not right ?yes i hate my life .because of him .i suffered my life .i LOVE him .

fai ,slame ni org setie kt fai .org buat ape yg fai nk .org tkd menggatal dgn lelaki laen smue bile org tk cntct dgn fai .tapi ni ke balasan yg org dpt ?fai ,org maseh sygkn fai .):

*crying still*

yest + tmr

2010-01-19T04:41:00.000-08:00

HELLLLLLLLOOOO .
i going to post abt yest and today .kaykay ?
basically ,yest ,i laugh like hell .
seriously .thankyou to Ridzman la for making me laugh (:
ahha .idk if its funny for you guys .
but its so funny to me ,he is likee ,idk how to xpplain here la .
Ros also laugh but not as rabak as me .then Zafran come ,and he look at me with the face like something .and Hadafi say i crazy .-.-" then Ridzman keep on doing the thing so i laugh non-stop .okay .so ,never laugh like that for a very long time before la .seriously .and the rest i forget what happen la . -.-"

todayy ,so gd lehh .math and hist cher nvr come .wahh ,i happy .okayy .so during maths lesson go sit wif fren and do ws .then hist ,do ws ,but then me ,Cahaya ,Farah and Atiqah play Truth or Dare gae .long time nvr play mahh .and ya ,CME ,need to discuss abt something .and yaa .I WANT GO LIKE ORPHANAGE HOME LA ..like old folks home ke or anitin la .like fun like that .
tiredd .just came back frm bookshop .watching just for laughs gags now .HAHHA(: .well2 ,anw ,go buy divider la at bookshop .ahahhaha .im hungry now but not going to eat ~

i msgs him many times .seriously .he didnt reply still .-_- nvm la .haissssssssssss .
fai ,fai igt syirah tk tau eh ?org tau la ,fainye p8 blm low lagi .maseh boleh msg lagi .cume fai sengaje tknk angkat ,tknk reply .please la fai .smpai bile nk mcm gni ?lame2 org pn dpt tau jgk sey .org tau tadi fai gi mane smue .org tau matae fai skola mane smue .i knw fai .fai .please la .help me can ?haisss ):

2010-01-18T05:03:00.001-08:00

ppl .soon then i post .

no mood to post):

sorry .tc (:

and ,imissamy):

fai .i really miss you ): fai ,i love you .): *crying*

2010-01-16T08:52:00.000-08:00

well ,today went to cik yah hse .
kak yana tunang .congrats .(:
well ,at nyte hve kenduri arwah again .
then they sabo paklong .
lol .happy advance bdae .(:
then spent time at there till 10plus i think .
only left me and my sis hvnt go hme .
so go hme with damn heavy things and cikman send hme .thnksss(:
well ,otw hme inside van there ,
seriously ,idk why la.i suddnly rmmbr of what things i did with him .and i cried .
but yeah ,i try not to cry la .
when wan go block also i want cry coz i saw a couple .
haiyoo .
why must i be the easily cry person ?
haiyaaaaaa .*sigh*
syafiqah ,i read ur blog .thankyou syg .thnks so much (:
u make me cry ):
seriously .but its okeyy .*sigh*
haisss .
actually ,2010 is like ,so many ppl heartbroken eh ?
seriously la .why ah ?
coz of guys la .so bstrd .kk ,i wont put all the fault at guys .
i knw la all guys not the same .just hard to find .
actually ,guys and gerls are just the same la .
break ppl heart only .
-.-"
baek lelaki ,baek pmpn .same je .
and i hate it .
i knw la i say that confem u all like tink i nvr break a guy heart before lehh ?
right ?
the ans is ,no .never .always guy hurt me .-.-
and thats what i hate the most .
easily fall in love + easily cry = you imagine
imagine oredi ?gd .
well ,i did msg him again .oways snd oofline msgs at msn .but what i get ?notin .
i realise i nid to move on .but im not readi .
and i dont want to moveon .
(:
and ,to my tirath ,
gosh ,i feel sad for you .how cn they be so cruel abg ?thats what i mean ,baek lelaki ,baek pmpn .due2 same je .-.-" bbual world .in the end ,dushhhh .-.-" tapi tkp ,kite gou through same2 ,as kite ade prob yg same .but at least ,ur's is better than me la abg ,at least die blg abg jgk .mine ?nvr .-.-"
syafiqah ,iloveyou (: u are right ,they should just keep me accompany (: nad plus ,they should hug me la syafiqah ,everytime .haha(:

trying to make it sound happy

2010-01-15T04:47:00.000-08:00

hello2 .idk if im feeling sad or happy now .its both la .
but im trying to make it sound as if im happy okay ?(:
well ,today post will be in malay and eng .(:
but mostly in eng la only a few sntnce in malay (:
so dont worry(:

firstly ,to tirath .
abg ,dont sad .i knw how u feel .we hve the same fate .we still hve many ques in our mind .do the person that we love still love us ?or have they leave us ?without telling us ?i cried when reading ur blog abg ,seriously .): im sad .but i knw no matter what ,we wont giveup till we find the ans to that ques .(:

secondly ,
well ,go to keathong again just now .
reach at 3pm like that .
then waited at the first floor staircase .
i saw the ppl that i saw last time before .do they recognise me ?hahah .
then2 ,at that block got like sch for kids .its kindergarten i think .
the plce whr i wnt to work wen i grow up (:
so ,like got tiny students ,with their teacher .want bring them play2 .
SO CUTE LA . i see i smile and laugh to myslf .awww ~they make me smile .thnks sweetheart (:
then got malay one like ,'awak2 ,saye2 ..' they talk2 ,cute sia .
then most of them hold hands .aww ~cute llorrrhhhh .
then wen evrytime i hear footstep or hear a guy voice ,some part i hide ,i scrd that was him .
mane tau die dgn kwn die ke ape .
hahaha .
then2 !!!
got this guy ask for my num . -.-" wth like that .
i was sitting ,he was like ,stare2 ,see2 me .hide2 .i tot what la .
then he say 'leh knl2 ?sgl att?'
i say bck la .'sgl ...errrrr ...*silent* tkle..'
then he walk ,with his face like binget ?badmood ?idk .
hahaha .muke taik siaaa .LOL
of cos la idk wan say what ,first time org mintak knl2 .i was damn shck la .thats why .
then i called hairie .told him .then it was arnd 4plus i called him
he accompany me ,we talk otp .talk so many things .ghost story la ,what la .
then until 6.05pm like that put donw the phne .tired oredi .
then i go hme .
3hrs of waiting .):
but to no avail .i was quite sad la .
but lucky nvr cry la .):
just fedup .but i nvr put anyone at fault .my own fault .i knw .i let myslf suffer lorh .
so what ?
i wont giveup la .until i meet him !
thats my final decision !
(:

see ,its not a sad post ryte ?well ,im making it happy for you guys to read .thats all .but actually im feeling sad .): hahs .

ive search ,but still ,to no avail .

2010-01-14T05:04:00.000-08:00

for today ,im goin to post abt this .
well ,this is what i think la .
what my friend say is true la .
im trapped in my own world .
i knw which decision is right ,and which is wrong .
but im choosing the bad one .
i knw which is the way i should go .
but i just dont want to go to the way i should go .
i choose the wrong decision and the wrong way .
and it is the one that makes me suffer .
suffer all the way of my life .
i knw that he have dissapeared from my life .
i knw he doesnt love me anymore .
i knw everything .
but yeah ,
im still in my own world .
i still think that he is with me .
i still think that he loves me .
i still think that he care for me .
i still think that he is the one for me .
i still think that he is mine .
i still think that he is the one that can hug me when im feeling cold and all .
i still think that he is the only guy that i can love .
not other guy .
im just trapped .thats all .
and i dont want to face it .
i keep thinking of the things you like ,
and i will have them with me .
i still write ur name on my hand ,
paper ,everywhr that i can write .
but mostly ,i write ur name in my heart from last time .
and i cant erase it .
i just think that we are still together .
evn we are not .
thats all .
i knw im wrong to do this .
i make my life suffered .
i make myslf cry .
cry when i think that u are still mine .
cry wen i see other couple happy together .
cry wen i think back what u've done .
cry wen i have my pillow and bear with me ,cos to me ,they are u .
and ya ,i cry when i see the things i done together with u or planned together with you ,is doing by other couple .
what if i were walking alone ,and i saw you ,with ur gf ,doing the things that i shouldnt see ?haisss ..
fine ,i knw .by this moment ,evryone reading this will be like ,
'cn u just move on ?no use loving a guy that have done dis to you .that dont love you anymore .u have better things to do in life .u still have a long way to go .why must u just stick to him ?' .
i knw la u all think like that .but i wntd to be like this ,evn for a few periods ..pls .just let me .i knw u all will be giving up on me ,u guys help me ,but i nvr listen .u all will then like ,for what u all help ryte ?but i just ,idk .its okay la ..i cn handle it ...

can i just write some of the song lyrics here ?coz im sad .):

tired and lonely still we stand
on a road to nowhre .
trapped in a world of endless days
my engine stalling ..
body and mind are breaking down on a road to nowhre
destiny silent hear no sound
as i wait forever
farewell ,i miss you
im sick of this gdbyes
coz it tore us apart right from the start
i miss you ...

mengapa kau melarikn dirimu
ku rasa sayu
ku ingin kau disampingku
seperti waktu dahulu
kemana kau menghilangkn dirimu
ku rasa rindu
ku mencarimu disinggah sana
dan aku hilang tempat bermanja
kau pula bersuka ria ..
kemana kau menghilangkn diri
ku yg mencari
manakah janji dan sumpah setiamu
yg kau berikan kepadaku ..
apakah kesalahanku padamu
dan juga tingkah lakuku itu
sehingga kau meghilangkn dirimu
dan aku kehilanganmu ..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tolonglah ,kembali ke pangkuanku ..
ku ingin bersamamu ..
seperti waktu dahulu ..
kita berdua gembira ...

okaayy .done .when im hurt ,there too many song that suits me .the song same with my story .
too many till i want to write all .anyone gd at drawing ?i wnt ask hlp me draw someting .):

i dont want to accept the fact .pls ):

2010-01-13T04:50:00.000-08:00

syafiqah ,dont cry la when reading my blog .):
i knw the story sad .hohos .
idk eh .evn i sad all ,im crying ,i must still laugh .
just to hide my sadness .

i've tried everything already .
but i still ,idk ..
i knw he must have some feeling of sympathy towards me .
but ,why he treat me like this ?
evn im telling him evrything ,how i feel ,what do i think i want to do all .
haisss ..sometimes i think ,
what if im warded to the hosp. or whatevr ?will he still visit me ?
if im dead ,will he still come and see me for the last time ?
does he still care for me ?
idk why ,
i keep coughing and coughing .
then i vomitted just now .-.-"
if i were to fall sick .
i'll fall sick due to missing him .
evrytym before i goes to sleep .
i'll cry .
and ya ,
yesterday ,i cry so badly .
seriously ,
i use my pillow ,my bear ,imagine that was him ,from last time .
i hug ,then i cry .
i told him ,
i dont want to forget him .
i cant moveon .
i wntd him by my side .
i cnt moveon if theres no him in my life .
since he did this to me ,i feel as if im gone .
i need him in my life .
i really misses him .
i really love him .
i want him back ..
i dont want him to leave me ..
i dont want to let him go ..
i dont want to accept the fact ..
): *crying* ):

pls ,meet me for the last time ..
cn u be kind for that day ,
and follow what i want ?
bring me evrywhr i wntd to go.
spent the last moment with me ..
aftr follow me to the plcs i wntd to go ,that u once tell me u will bring me ,
then i wntd to spent my time with u at those two block again for the last time .):
play wrestling and all ):
and if possible ,cn i hug you for the last time ? ):

*crying*

theres no one that can replace you in my heart .
the way you love me ,no one can try and replace it .
no one can ever sing like you do .
no one can have the same way of you .
fai ,cant you just be with me forever ?):

i've tried ,i said as he walked away ,try not to lose him ..two vibrant heart could change ..):

it takes time

2010-01-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

god ,i keep posting and posting .
tk smpai 30min .
-.-"
ppl giving me advice everyday .
but i just say ,
'yes i knw ,okayy .'
but i didnt do what im supposed to do .
true ,im following my heart now ,not my mind .
its bad sometimes to follow what we want .
i knw what is the choices .
i knw what is happening .
but the thing is ,
i dont want to choose the right path .
-.-"
i hate it .
i just dont care if im hurting myslf .
i just follow my heart .
it takes time .
like what tirath says ,
time is the ans .
awww ~
he told me that many times .
(:

it takes a lot of time to accept the truth .):

down the memory lane

2010-01-12T07:45:00.000-08:00

why am i posting and putting all this pic at my blog ?

goshh ,there meaning to it .

each of the picture ..

iloveyoustill

2010-01-12T07:31:00.000-08:00

i just hate it .
i hate all this .
i hate myslf .
i hate whats going on .
cant you just undrstnd me ?
pls .
evn i beg you ,then ,idk la .haiyaa .
look ,i called you at sch .i called you at hme .
evrytime .
i wont giveup .
yes ,true .
by calling and txting you so many times might make you feel irritated .
i knw .
but i cnt stop doing it .
i wanted to meet you .
and you gave me so many excuses .
yes ,while otp ,i almost did the stupid thing again .
yes ,while and aftr otp ,i cried .
i shivered again .
i cant accpt the truth .
i cant .
i dont want to .
i dont want to accpt the truth .
why ?
because i love you too much .
evn u did that to me .
gave up on me for another girl .
u still wont admit ryte ?
only that when i say u have gf ,u like ,
'argghh ,ni yg org mls nk lyn tau..'
i force you ,and u were like ,
'a'ah ,ahh ,yelahh2 ...ade2 ..'
idk .it confuse me .
i want to hear all from your mouth .
pls ,meet me .
i dont want to let you go ..
i dont want ..
i love you ..
):

i'll try again

2010-01-11T05:18:00.000-08:00

thankyou hairie for lending me ur phone just now .(:
and yeahh ,i was like already upset .
and mr.kok make me more angry .urgh -_-
i called fai just now using hairie phne .during recess time .
while i was w8ing for him to pickup ,honestly ,i was shivering .seriously .
evn when im talking to him .idk why .not because of im feeling cold .
but because im nervous .
i forget to mention on the previous post that while i was at keathong ,i was already shivering .damn cold i tell you .its like ,,already dawn .and im alone .plus the surronding atmosphere .and coldness .fuuhhh .
okkayy ,so .continue ..
i talk to him otp for abt ,5min ?idk .
when he pick up ,i silent for awhile then i dare to speak .
the first thing i say is ,*translate in eng*
'fai ,dont put down the phone kay ..pls ..' .
coz im really scrd he might put down when he hear my voice .
well ,mostly i talk the most .he nvr say anitin .-_-
well ,hears the convo .already being summarise by me .
me : fai ,i want to meet you .pls la ..
fai : cannot ..
me : no ..pls la ..can la ..why cannot ?
fai : u will be shock la ..
me : but why ?
fai : you knw abt my dad illness ryte ,then i also get it what ..later u see my face u will be shock la ..
idk why its illness .-.-"
me :no ..i wont be shock ..i want to meet you .idc .
fai :cant la .ltr u shock ..
me :idc la !i said i want to meet means i want to meet la !
before all that i did ask la why he nvr reply my msgs ,why i call nvr pick up ,and he rejected all .
well ,then ...
me :fai ,fai got gf already ryte ?
fai :nolaaa ..with my face like this want hve gf ?
me :why u dont want to admit ?!i knw la !just admit cn or not ?!
fai :eh ,dont spout nonsence la ..u nvr see how u knw ryte ..
me :eh ,i knw la ! but its true ryte ?!
then he still wont admit .
fai :i nid to go to class already la ..
me :no nid ..
fai :then i nid to study wat ..
me :no nid la ..
fai :i nid to go la ..ltr call again ..
then suddnly silent .i try call his name for a few times .then he ans back .
fai :eh ,havent put down yet ?i tot put down already ..
me :i dont want to put down ..fai ..meet me kayy ?
fai :i nid to go to class ...cnt la ..(or did he say ,'idk' .) .ltr call bck ,ltr call bck .
syirah :alarrr ...
then i silent and he say bye .so i say bye back to a very low voice .then he put down .
weellll ,yeahh .that is it .haisss ..i knw he's oredi okayy .he wont tell me .seriously la ..haiyoo .
wen i put down oredi i tink bck .if its true abt the i shock tingy ,why he cn go sch all ?
and yaaaaa ,i try calling him aftr sch .at first he reject .sec and third time ,he nvr ans at all .
just now at 8plus i tinkk ,call again ,but nvr ans .haiiss ):
i wont giveup still .

it hurts the most .

2010-01-10T06:16:00.000-08:00

everything change .and i didnt knw that u are goin to change too .im just wondering why .
yes ,i admit .its hard to forget you .i still love you .you told me ,if u lie or break ur promises ,i can hate you to hell .but no ,i cant .coz deep inside my heart ,i love you so much .im crying .but im holding back my tears at the same time .on the 8thdec .we lepak at one block at faja .till 10plus went home .and rmmbr ?i was mad at you that time due to ur smoking .till i msg you when im home ,asking you not to text me again .and you reply so late till i fell asleep ,but at 1plus ,meaning its oredi on the 9th ,i wakeup again and read ur msg .and that was the time u confess to me that you actually love me .evn im angry at u ,u still put a smiley face in the end ,saying gdnyte and all .you told me im the first girl u confess to .usually ,the girl that admit first .then ,at last ,i must confess my feelings to towards you .idk how ,i can fall in love with you .we talk till 7plus in the morning ,then we slept .on the 15th ,we met again .u wntd to treat me to my famousamos that i win .but in the end i didnt get it .i rmmbr ,we lepak at one of the cck block .and that was whr it all strtd .when went home ,txt2 ,u get possesed again ,ur sis tell.till on the 18th ,u txt me again ,saying sorry for not replying my msgs ,u cnt get out of the hse ,u miss me ,asking me to forget u ,evn we are force to bcoz of it ,but then i nvr want to leave u,i promise u .u promise too . then u promise u meet me first when u are fine .suddnly ur sis reply again saying u get possesed again.i pray for you evrytime .evn i knw u cnt reply ,i always msg you .expecting you to reply still .till on the 7thjan ,i txt again asking if you are really alright ,but then someone reply saying u chnge ur num .i txt ur new num ,no reply .*not allowed to be read* evn i told you if you break ur promises just tell me.at sch i called you ,u the one who pickup .*not allowed to be read* at last ,get to knw ,you had a gf schling at st.anderson sec.in the end ,get to knw the person that tell me ur new num is ur mom .*not allowed to be read*well ,abt the possesed thing ,yes ,its true .but then why aftr u okay .u didnt tell me?instead u leave me just like that without telling me u had a gf .im hurt .u like meh if ur sis is treated like this frm a guy ?no right .then why u do it to me?u promise u w8 for me .seriously .when i knw u're not okay ,i pray for you ,i try searching for anyone who maybe may knw u .then this is what u repay me back ?u told me im like no other girl .im not like ur exs .i cared for you too much till i get angry at you like something .then now what ?hais .i called you 2times when im going out just now .but u rejected my calls .i wntd u to meet me and talk facetoface .when u rejected my calls ,i msg ,u still didnt reply .when i was otw to bpp ,inside lrt ,one malay aunty was looking at me ,idk why .maybe bcoz my face was sad all the way .and i almost cry at the lrt .bt i didnt la .want to go out frm bpp ,saw amy ,fatin and azuin sis .they were like ,asking if im okay .they tot i was being possesed .i just say that im okay .evn im not .im sorry guys .well ,aftr going bpp ,i went to farhan hse .imagine .from 5.10pm like that i sit there ,on the third storey stairs .till the nxt 2hrs ,i go hme .for the two hrs ,i've been sitting there ,ppl looking at me .i cried abit .i wonder if they saw me cry .i tried calling you for another time ,u rejected again .but guys ,while i was sitting ,many ppl comeout and in of the lift .and one of them was like ,when she oredi in the hse ,i cn hear her ,saying ,'elias ,elias .is that his gf outside ?is that his gf ?' .it makes me smile for a sec .im sure ppl was like ,'why does this girl sitting hre frm just now?' .i knw they got that ques in mind .while i was sitting ,i hve the feelings i cn meet farhan .when the lift shows 3rd storey ,i always look .and when its almost 2hr ,yes .im sure it was farhan .he with ,idk who .i call him .i tink he hear .i guess he evn look at me .i tink he knw that was me .he says sometin .but i couldnt hear wat .then he go into his hse .i cant get to speak with him .aftr that ,i called hairie ,tell what hppn .he like knw like that i cry .while i was there ,i txtd ppl ,and all of them ask me to go hme .but i was stubborn .i was tired but i wont giveup .aftr that with a very heavy and hurtful heart ,i walk slowly .went to grsc .wnting to buy sweet for younger sis and me .but dont have .then i went hme ,walk hme .before that ,i sat on the block whr we sit at fajar .i come to the plce we sat ,i smell ur cigarette fai .i cn see all that happn at there .i see you and me .its like a movie .but it was actually just memories .i hear to the song that u always sang ,i cried .idk if ppl see me crying ,coz theers evn malay fam was at there with a cat ,and i tink they look at me .but that time ,i wipe away the tears already .my person easily cry .idc whr i am ,if the tears want to fall ,it just falls .but sometimes i need to hold it back .i feel like i want to do stupid things again ,but i wont .i promise already .haiss .i just can cry .i really miss you .i really wnt to ask you fcetofce .perhaps i must try again .hais ):

whr were you when i misses you ?
whr were you when im cold ?
whn im sad ?
whn im feeling lonely ?
when im in a bad mood ?
when i need someone to talk to ?
to talk craps ?
whr has ur jokes to me gone to ?
whr are ur promises to me ?
ur words to me ?
all of them .whr ?
they are all vanish forever ,gone .
i miss the times we played wrestling .
i miss those jokes ,calling me undrage kid ,and many more .u like to disturb me .
i still rmmbr all the things u say to me .
each single words .seriously .
all the things we did together .
i miss ur singing ,'road to nowhere' and 'i miss you' .
when i hear to those songs ,but mostly 'road to nowhere' ,i keep hearing ur voice ,the guitar u played .
we planned to watch movies together .
eat at luckyplaza together .
go to the playgrnd whr i want to go .
buy build a bear workshop bear together .
all the things .
so many .
u promise to quit smoking by 1st march .ur deadline .rmmbr ?but now i guess ,u stop trying to quit already .haiss .):
i wntd to tell u so many things .
but then look what happn now .
i cant tell you .):
how cn u be so heartless ?
nvr evn says sorry to me . ):
haiss .
i knw im stubborn .i make myself suffer bcoz of you .
i knw u may not be reading this .but this are my feelings .i wntd you to knw .
i really dont get the ans why in the world you leave me ..
thanks for all the thing you've done to me ..
those precious moments ,sweet moments .and even ,this hurtful moment .thankyou for hurting me .
its hard for me to accept the fact . damn hard .
hard to forget you .. ):

God ,gives me the strength ,patience to face all this test from you .i cant hold on any longer .i'm becoming weaker as days passes by without him on my side .i really misses him .im tired .idk how i should move on .idk how i can forget him .pls ,give me more strength and patience to face all this . ):

no matter what ,i still have others that love me ,i knw .thanks all .

2010-01-01T22:49:00.000-08:00

IMPORTANT ANOUNCEMENT ! I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIENDDDD ! AHAHHA !

HERES HIS PICS ! AWWW ~ MY HEART MELT SIAAA !! (:

AWWWWW ~ ahhaha !

ramzi (:

my boyfriend . (:

thereee !!! wooohohhooooo ! lalalallaa ~ im so crazy over him ! (: ilovehim ! (:

happy new yearr

2010-01-01T04:21:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL .
(: may we have peace in this new year ,2010 .how fast time flies .time passes by .but we just dont realise it .(: well ,lets hope we have fun on this new year .thaatss all .and sorry for not updating . seriously damn lazy to update blog and to evn passes by it .sorry eh .

and ,to those who need to be link ,later2 eh .dont worry .later my friend do for me .i lazy .hahah .tc all .(:

2010 !welcomeee !(:

short post

2009-12-13T18:09:00.001-08:00

hello2 .
sorry for not updating .
well . laptop spoil but now okay already and i wont be using my bro's laptop anymre .
cozzz , mom bought for the family a new comp ! and im so damn happy about it . (:
thnks mom , ily .
okay niwaess , we bought it at IMM .
b4 we go IMM , we go jurongbirdpark then westcoast .
nxt wk go JBP again coz what we want to do at there is not to be done yet .
when we want to go to this plce , i forget . we saw a guy lying on the road ! and my mom was like , 'YA ALLAH !' . and its actually fake , they making a vid . -.-' haha .
well . mom will bringing us to karaoke , watch movie and all nxt time , diff day all . (:
okayy . thats all . (:
short post ryte ? i knw . (:

short and simple . (:

2009-12-09T21:51:00.000-08:00

syafiqah , im done relink-ing youuhh . (:

seriously , idk how this cn happn .
but i just want to say thnks . (:
and i will keep it to myselvess . (:

that confession . (: i will remember it .
thankyouuhh . (:

boooooboooooboooo

2009-12-08T21:21:00.000-08:00

BBOOOOOOOOOO !

ohhhkk . i knw u all scrd . -.-

well2 , today going to lot1 with family at aftrnoon . (:

niwaeess , yesterday at arnd 4.30pm like that went to meet fai .

since he's at fajar , he ask lepak .

so ask haba along bt she dont wantt .

she lazyy . -.- what an excusee .

okayy . so , bring guitar along as fai want to play with it .

so we slack arnd faja area onlyy . we sat one corner uyhh .

then suddenly saw dina and priya . so i go at them and say hi all that .

then priya was like , 'your bf ?'

so i said no lhh . i said its my sis and my fren . doesnt mean im with a guy its my bf .

then we continue lepak-ing until 7+ , as usual , we play fyte2 . and he want to make my hair for me . -.- then almost 8pm then i went hmee .

then continue msg2 , then we otp at 1+ until 2+ . thhen chrge hp first then decided to continue talking at 3.15am . then arnd 3.05 like that i sleepy already so i went to my bed and just close my eyes . suddnly i fell asleep accidentally , evn i told hym im not going to sleep . hahah . (:

sooo . thattss all .

IMPORTANT !! U GUYS NEED TO KNW THISSS !

im craving forrr ayam penyet ria and cendawan goreng .

ohh ! i want Aqua Sand !

and want watch movie !

i also want build a bear workshop bear !

doneee . (;

2009-12-07T18:33:00.000-08:00

sandy . im done linking you , at lastt . (:

urghhh .

2009-12-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

shit lh , dunno why , blog siaoo .
i using firefox , internet explorer go crazyy .
but then , this firefox is like , when i go to my profile want see sandy email cause i want relink , it move up itselff . aiyoo . and sandy , seriously sorry . i try againn . (: dont angry and dont think that i dont want to link u . (:

im hungryy . ):

gerek

2009-12-07T01:00:00.000-08:00

hello2 , well , thnks to myrahh for updatting and doing the blogskins and songs for me as i asked to .
and , sorry too sandy for not linking u back .
andd . yestersayy is too much fun . seriously .
actually plan to play with had all ryte . bt then me and my fren and my sis went to separate ways as hadafii was like nvr tell me whr he was aftr playing bowling . so me , my sis , fai and farhan went walk2 . ya , even like we knw fai like that but he's totally gerek uyhh . and farhan is his fren . so and so . they kept disturbiing me as im 13 and my sis with them are like agge , 16,17,18 . like wth . disturb saying i cnt watch nc16 and all this . lol . then me and fai fyte2 . gurau ganas . but i was strong . just because of a one dollar he fyte with me , like wth . i told him i keep first ltr i giv , but he's fighting with me . so it became a war for how many mins i didnt get to count , too lone . but it was totally awesome being wth them . so we lepak2 . the reach home around 10+ almost 11 .
thnks eyhh guys for the dayy , seriously gerekk . fai , nxt time kytr fyte laggyy . (: and my famous amoss . (:

p.s , my blog okay oredy , so happy . (:

2009-11-26T19:39:00.000-08:00

boochiark !

nyy myrahh speaking ayee . hmph . dah lamerh sherah thark update ini blog , selamerh 1 minggu ?

changes :

- blogskins updated .
- inactive links removed .
- thh blogskin owner provides thh song , dun like it remove urself .

alrites im donee .

' chalobeteh .

announcement

2009-11-20T05:53:00.000-08:00

ppl , my blogskin is going to chnge soon , findingg new one ~~

sorry2 for not updating .

2009-11-19T22:51:00.000-08:00

hello all . sorry for not updatingg . (:
many events happen , i'll tell one at a time .

firstt .
to that fcking guyy .
AKU CKP DGN KAU EYH , KAU TK GUNE TAU POST KT BLOG KAU KE MANE2 UTK CKP SORRY KT AKU , ABEYH SKRG DELETE . AND , AKU DH SERIK LH SIAL DGN KAUNYR TPU SMUE . FCK SIALL . KAU SERIOUSLY PRNGAI MCM BABI . THAT TIME CKP DH BREAK LH APR LH , TUPTUP , BLM . BYLERH AKU TNYR ASL IN THE FIRST PLCE CKP DH BREAK , KAU CKP NTAHH . KAUNYR ALASAN , 'NTA , TAK TAU' . BLEK2 TUU . MEPEKK SIAALL . ABEYH , KAU TK PERLU NK BUAT BAEK LH SIAL DPN ORGG . CKP YG KAU MASEH SYGKN AKU AND BLA3 . KLAU KAU DH STOP , BGS , ALHAMDULILLAH . AND , AMY , JGN PERCAYE DEAR , HE'S LYING , DIE TU 'YEYEOHH' NYR ORG . AKU DH CKP , DIE TKKN BERUBAHH . DIE KATE NK BERUBAH KNN ? TAPY , DIE FRM BAD TO WORSE UYHH . A LEOPARD NVR CHNGES ITS SPOT . CHEYYHH .(: AND YA , KAU PN , JGGN NK PERASAN YG AKU MASEH SUKE KAU KE PAPR LHH SIALL . TKNK SAK AKU HIDOP DGN SUKE ORG YG PRNGAI MCM SIALL MCM KAU . SERIOUSLYY . OKAYYY .
DONE , THAT WAS TO A FCKING2 GUY EVER AND TO AMY , THNKSS EYHH NASIHAT KAU . (: AKU SYGG KAU . JGN PECAYE DIE TAU , DIE TU STEP JE . (: AND AMY , PAPR DIAM2 JE EYH . (:

okayy , puas aku ckp psl jantan tk gune tuu . aku klau geram , aku boleyh maki . (: klau tk , aku TAK AKAN maki . klau geram sgt jerh uyh . urghh , seriouslyy . idk whyy . my blog rosak , cnt tuka font and colour . ): so sad siaaa . well2222 , that time , went bowling .. gerekk ! dggn cuzz and siss . my total score for 3 game , 138 or something , tk igt . thenn , as usual , go outt when im free . that day camp for two days . (: nvr play the game sgt . mlss . prefer to msg ppl . (: hahah . on the sec day met amy and i hug her tightlyy . fyi , iloveher . (: then tomorrow nid go cp in the morningg . well2 , opn hse zss pn nid come , cca fault . heess . (: anww , i told amy , i will try to move on , but i need all ur help and support . h mls uyh nk lyn bende2 ni , dh serik katekn . anw , thnks to all . cuzz , sis , fren smuee . sygg krg all many2 . (: anw , my kakak sad when i at cmp , i mean , shes bored coz if im not around , she wont laugh . if im around i will make her laugh and disturb her evn sometimes irritating , andd . her fren said its fun to have a sister like me . ^^ hahahah

lastly , i miss my .. : fren
gf
bf/bff
family at schh .
iloveyouall . ALL my fren that i known . whether in sch or
somewhr . but i HATE one person . and you guys knw who .

padan muke kau .

2009-10-30T08:32:00.000-07:00

hello again .
so bored , well , just now went for parents meeting .
okayy , now , gonna tell u guys something cute , funny and pitiful .
just now , me and mom went to class , bt outside class , i saw mr allan , sleeping at the chair .
so pity . then my mom was like , 'hello , hello.' then he nvr wakeup . then i sort of shouting for his name then he wakeup . hehes , the he was like , 'oh , soryy2' . okayy .
so , he talk and talk , and talk . since theres no ppl , he talk to me soooo llooonnnggg . tired sia . then luckily ezah come . then qianling , save my life . woooohhooo . anw , thnks for syafiqah gerlfren for giving me advise . ^^ i oso tink i dont want to be with hym . ahahahah . actually , when i knw abt it , i was like , 'yes ar ! serve u right ! this la how guys treat us . when no gerl animre , then want rmmbr us .' thats what i say to my sis . and shee agree , loll . i say to hym , if tomorrow he late , then i walk away lorrhh coz i lazy . since i going bpp with cahaya , then if i dont see hym , i walk , hahahahhaha , i likeee ! now , im so evill , yeaaayyy . anwww , just now sing2 , dnce2 , since i lazy to exercise , me and my sis dnce . and she called me flirty . ahha . 0.0 she beside me . so noisy with her breath . now shes laughinggg . siaoooo . okay , anw , when we dnce , got tke vid , if i nt lazy i post it nxt time , if lazy then too badd . AHAHAH . u cnt watch us dnce . lol . bt i oways dnce at skul ryte ? sometimesss . anw , i think i saww SYAMIRAN just nooww !!! ahaha , my sis jealous lehhh , bluekkk . shes talking nonsense to me now . in eng , 'i like him lah . he like me or not ? but bablablaaa.' i dont enterttain . i just 'ahh , ahh' now she called me bastrd . shes going to get it now . okay , byee . want beat her till she die . sooooo irritatinggg !!!! singing that songgg ! arr ! bye lh !!

~~~~ hey , hey , hey , hey , aku tk percaya cintta .. aku tk percaya cinta .. ~~~~

i told you that you wont last long , and it's true .

2009-10-29T18:04:00.000-07:00

i've been like this for almost 2mth . i wntd to forget evrything , bt i cnt . i wntd to forgive you , bt i still cnt . maybe bcoz i still cnt accpt what u've done to me . i wntd to move and let all this be memories , evn i still cnt forget you . bt i still cnt . i fell as if i hate you sometimes . bt i do still have feelings for you . i really want to have the old me again , the one that always happy , nvr hurt herselves . i hate the new me . i bcum like this bcuz of u . u disappear frm my life , u left me all alone by myselves . u didnt evn rmmbr me . i wntd to move on bcuz of that . and there you are , appearing before me again , saying that i was right . HELLO , you are saying that the girl u've hurt all this while is right by saying that the girl u love is bad , she's a two-timer . and u beg for forgiveness , asking me to be with you again .. bt i just dunno . i give you too much chnces till u bcum like this . and now , i'm finding the ans . should i give u one last chnce ? and if i do , will u not do it again ? or u will just make the same mistake and left me again ? i mean , only aftr u knw that the girl u love is playing two-timer , then u came bck to me . then u rmmbr me ? if not , wil u want to do it ? no . u wont . u said i teach u a lesson which no other gerl had evr teach u . bt idk what . i just dunno if i should forgive and give u a last chnce or not , its damn hard .

happy bdae | im glad | that day | hurt abit just now

2009-10-26T00:52:00.000-07:00

glad everything over . anw , HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY TO IZZAH(26OCT) AND HAIRIE(25OCT) .
well , going to have camp and an outing .
now , dunno why there are no colour to changeee .
well , going to talk abt sat(24oct) .

we went out as there is the show from zss at bpp at garden plaza . last min , went meet syafiqah at jelapang , then meet ros(pity her , alone , been w8ing for us , sorry ros !) . then eat , evn its not breakfast , we considere it as breakfast . then cahaya came . then when we finish eating , want go the garden plaza there , when want go out frm the mc , i at behind , then got this one guy frm what sch look at me and make this weird sound which makes me scrd . like disturb2 . hoho . kay , lame ? thenn , meet amy , awin . thats all ryte ? photo , lazy put . ahah , sorry . thenn , watch the show lorrhhh . then went LJS , they want eat , so i just eat icecream . then , buy food(for family) and bubble tea(for mom) before went home . its a great day . (:

done , p.s , its diffucult to type now , i cut my finger , when want to pell off the apple skin , now left half finger only now . ):

to those thats still not okay with me still

2009-10-24T05:24:00.000-07:00

not going to post bout today , maybe next time .
just , binget . sorry klau aku ckp gyni , jgn krg mara plak . ni utk sapr2 yg maseh tk suker jelh . yg dh okay dgn aku , diam2 . aku tau lh psl tu . dh lame perh aku tau . aku dgn smue pn dh okay . tk tau lh kn dgn sapr2 lagy . abeyh tk perlu perh tulis name aku kt blog kau . klau tk suke boleyh ckp jerh perh . anw , aku dh tawuuhh pn . krg gyni , aku pn binget . org laen pn irritating , org laen pn peragai mcm siaakk perhh . mcm krg tk pena ? abeyh , nk maafkn , adr yg kene discuss . its ur own , whether u ikhlas or not . klau nk aku chnge , krg pn chngge . padahal pade aku perangai aku ttp same . pade akulh . aku dari pri sch g2 perh . tnyr sapr yg rapat dgn aku uyh . klau tk suke , then pasal ar . aku boleyh chnge perh . krg buat gyni , mcm tk fike apr aku rase ? name tepampang sakk . fck . nk buat gyni , agk2 lh , pls . krgnyr perangai pn aku kdg tkle tolerate , tapy aku diam jerh . psl aku tawuuhh , krg tu boleyh berubah . and , tkkn psl nieehh , tk kwn ? matured lhh . jgn mcm pri sch , kwn tk kwn eyh , thanks . akuhh tk buatt papr , krg yg strt dulu , aku pn tk tau apr nk ckp . aku diam , buat hal sndiri lagy bgs . sorang2 . so , nieehh utk sapr yg maseh tk okay dgn aku jerh . aku tk tau sapr . yg aku tawuuhh , aku dgn mai smuer dh okay . nadia pn dh okay smlm . yg laen , tk tau whether iklas ke tk . its not big eyh the prob , then nk besa2kn ? kay , thats all .

aku tk tau asl aku post nieehh . saje jerh . maybe psl aku rase adr org masehh tk suke . and , ni yg slame ni aku nk ckp . utk sapr2 yg dh btol2 okay dgn aku , then bacerh jerh . coz ni yg i feell . thats all . and i feel something that i need to say it .

well , yeahh

2009-10-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

hello2 , sooo , well , errr , kay , how shuld i strt ?
now .
well , last tue(20oct09) , went out with mai .
two ppl , gerekk gylerhh . we lepak at faja , then go bpp , ate LJS , went faja back lepakksss .
well , went hme at 5.30pm due to the gerekness og the lepak-ings .
idonthavethepicwithher .
so , pls go to her blog if u want to see the pic . thankyouuhhh . (:
bt i have my pic . hahas . when going out with adk , kakak , mak , ayah at that nyte , went lot1 .
not much pic luuhhh , lazy to putt . before i put the pic , just readdd .
and ya , idc abt it , well , if u want to F*r**** , then sincerely , no need to discuss . that is to me lh , so i dont care , its better to be alone . i think . ya , i knw . evryone that i love MUST always LEAVE me . ryte ? yeahhh , i knw . ohya , i saw shahirah at segar station yesterday(21oct09) . the story went like this .
yesterday , i take the train in the morning to sch . i at the behind door one . then she is seriously dpn2 me , coz i dpn2 pintu . then nmpk baju , muke smue mcm dier , then aku pn pusing lh , bylerh dierh dh masok , tup2 , dierh kt blkng aku . shit . then since smlm bdae siditu , aku msg lh , ckp hapi bdae pkai hp adk aku , tk tau aku ckkp ikhlas ke tk(mepekkn ? aku tau , hahas) . then aku suro die tnyr shahirah adr gy naek train sega tk , abeyh adrh , so btol lh dierh . at last , aku nk nmpk , akhirnyr nmpk jgk dierh . tapy tk nmpk drg berdue2-an . okayy . end of story .

thank you .

2009-10-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

thanks to the one

that make a blog for our class . (:

its a sad day

2009-10-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

15/10/09

done the D&T paper(fyi , i use the wrong paper for the orthographic drawing , hais ):) , take the nugget that i reserve , gave hasya some , went to paklong's house in a hurry .

it strtd like this , im the morning my sis wake me up , tot that im late . but instead , she told me that shes gone . i still went to sch . then at paklong house , chnge cloth . sitting there , can jusst makes me cry . seeing my grandma cried , i cried to0 . seeing the ppl cried , i also cry . i knw im not that close but i just felt the sadness . i pitied for her husband , daughter and sons . i hope u all will take it sincerely and be patient . this yr raya , didnt evn sempat to go to her hse , in the end , shes gone .

seeing her being 'kapan' , makes me feel sad . before stepping out from the house , i kiss her for the first and the last time . then , i followed the bus to go kebumikn . its my first time standing directly infront of the kubo , watching them tanam , hearing the ustaz reciting the doa , saying this and that . all that i see , hear , just makes me cry . i feel sad . but i knw her family feel sadder than me .

time just flies away to0 fast , isn't it ? hais . let her go , god loves her more . i hope u will go to heaven .

a short post will do

2009-10-13T05:50:00.001-07:00

firstly , im going to move on with my life ! WITHOUT HIM ! yeahh ! mesty kuat smgt . haha . for me , tk gune lh . no point loving someone but he/she doesnt love u bck ryte ? and , until when must i be like this right ? thats why ive decided to move on . (: now u will see the old insyirah back . always funny , fun , happy , the one that disturb ppl , talk in the class when HYPER and mostly , CRAZY ! weee ~~~~ i knw u dont like me to be so quiet and sad always . thats why .

secondly , attention !!
I HAVENT DONE MY ART ! GOSH ! HAVENT STUDY FOR HISTORY ! VERY LAZY . ART DRAW LATER AT NIGHT , COLOUR TOMORROW WITH AISYAH . AND , GOD ! I LOST ONE AND THE HALF MARKS FOR MATHS PPR 1 ! ): SIMULTANEOUS EQ. I ONLY FIND THE X ! Y NVR ! I NEVER EVN RMMBR THAT NEED TO FIND THE Y ! ): SSOOOO SSSAAADDDD ! ):

OKAY , DONE . TC ALL . AND , MAY U PASS UR EXM . GD LCK . PRAY THAT I'LL PASS TOO . THANKS . (:

THIS IS ORIGINALLY MADE BY ME

2009-10-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

THIS IS ORIGINALLY MADE BY ME . (:
When i was lost in a maze , i couldn't find my way out . And then , a guy came to my rescue . He held my hand , and lead me to the way out . He then said that he love me and he kiss me . He promise not to leave me . Whenever i lost in a maze , he will always come to my rescue . But now , when i find out that i'm lost in the maze again , he didn't come to rescue me . I waited and waited . Hoping that he would come and rescue me . But he didn't . I tried to find the way out myselves , slowly , alone , in the deep maze , Still , i couldn't find my way out . Because i need him . And there he is , rescuing another girl inside the same maze . I tired to shout for his name , but he didn't even notice or hear me . Instead i saw him holding the girl hand , leading her out from the maze , telling her that he loves her , and he kiss her . My eyes filled with tears . I let them go and be happy together even i'm hurt deep inside my heart . And i stop , thinking , why he left me..

yeah , im sorry guys

2009-10-01T06:23:00.000-07:00

kay , so , long time no post . so super duper lazy . so sorry . many events actually happened . and i am really sorry frens to trouble u guys again . i knw i shouldnt do that . but i dont knw why i did that . i knw its stupid . suddenly my sadness come back . thats all . i promise not to do it again , i'll try . and , thanks to all , that trying to control me from holding the penknife the last time . and thanks to all that control me just to put plaster on my hand yesterday . i was like shoutin dh mcm org kene sampok sayin 'tknk2' . many of you control me . i cant get away , and aftr that , i throw the plaster away , right ? im sorry . i knw u all cared for me . u guys dont want me to hurt myselves . what ros said is true , i should forgive and forget . coz im hurting myselves everyday . but i just cant forgive and forget . i knw he dont love me anymore at all . no use hurting myselves over hym . i just control myselves . thats all . its just that idk why , yesterday and today , my sadness all come back . i started to cry again . and , today his monthsary . nvm , let him be happy lorhhh . its okay im hurt . actually i have make a poem like that , that time , gonna post on another post .

so ,

2009-09-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

second post .
before i start , i want to say to ros , stop what u are doing . its stupid . i do cn , u cnt . (:
and to syafiqah , well , insyaallah i wont hurt myself anymore . dont worry and dont be sad . (:
well , yesterday me and han msg2 .
we have a talk .
and , try to baek2 ,
evn i still wont forgive hym .
well , mon he said he is going to fetch me frm faja .
so i let him be .
and , as he ask me to listen to the 'sorry' song ,
i ask him to listen 'hati yang kau sakiti' song . frm rossa .
and he did .
and he was like , 'omg ! the song , im sorry .'
well , the song is like sooo really real with what had happened in my life . so the very same lh .
thats why i ask hym to listen to that song , frm me .
he have a song for me and i have a song for hym .
well , i dont want to be a couple breaker .
and i didnt want to get hurt .
all i can do is just to be patient and try to accept all this evn i cant accept it .

this is , yesterday , 7/9/09

2009-09-08T00:24:00.000-07:00

well , yesterday went out with farah , atiqah , diyanah and cahaya .
went to bpp and then lot1 .
we have fun .
we went to lot1 rooftop .
then they play2
bt the security was like ,
'u what old ?'
and they say 13 .
then kene halau g2 .
and so , went to ezone .
then they play to get what thing lh . bt tk dpt .
then farah , atiqah , cahaya went to bpp again , diyanah went to her grandma house .
and i , went to meet my two sis .
went buy present for my adek , and beli cake . i use 10bcks , and mom money 10bcks .
(:
oh ya , HAPPY BELATED 11 BIRTHDAY ATINAH ! MAY ALL UR WISH COME TRUE .
evn im angry at u yesterday . bt , nvm . saba .
if im nt lazy , i update the vid and pic . if nt , nvr .
and , yesterday disturb meow .
we sing a song , make our self ,
shout2 near her , and she opn her eyes soooo big and stare .
and she geram at my kakak and anoh my kakak muke ,
haha ! my adek kene gigit kaki .
and meow is sooo cute ! hahah (:
me ? nothing . evn i disturb her , she never do anitin to me . ahaha .
and ya , i will be playing bunge api this wk or nxt wk .
my sis ask to join with her fren all .
anyone want to join , msg me aite . thankyou . (:

haiz . what does all this means ?

2009-09-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

well , i went to his fs profile , his pic is full of that gerl pic . i went to that gerl profile , saw a comment on 29.aug.o9 . he said .

' hie again . jgn nakal2 . (: imy .'

idk if i lefout any sentence . but thats what i rmmbr . haiz . u mean , frm that time u love her ? haiz . well . i rmmbr u plan to wear the same colour with me during raye . green colour . and evn prom nyte still long , u say we mayb going out together to buy same baju . i rmmbr we going to sch evryday , u tke me frm faja sometimes . and u snd me hme by walking . spend our time together at sch . bt all was just memory . its all gone like that . whr are ur promises ? i wanted to cry now . bt i cnt . i listen to the song that he ask me to listen with the lyrics . i wanted to cry also , but i cnt as there is my family . tears rolling down , bt i hide and stop crying . haiz , so , mon sch reopen , we will talk . thankyou ros for going to be there later on mon . haiizzzz . :(

idk this would happen again .

2009-09-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

well . i cant believe this will be happening to me again . i wont hide it from u guys animre . and sorry slame ni aku tpu krg and semunyikn dari krg , kwn2 ku smue .
dat day , on thurs , i suddenly hav a feeling that han like other gerl .
so i ask hym , and he said no . i force hym to tell the truth , i said i cn feel it . and he say , fyne , puase tknk tpu . and he said yes . god , its hard . this is what the conversation . the blue is what he say , the pink is what i say . got it ?

i love you bt i got std already . i really am sorry .
since when u hav std ?
1 sept .
i knw u r crying . IM SORRY . i got 1 ting to say and pls follow .

he ask me to listen the song by jonas brothers , sorry . he say it mean something to hym and what he had said frm tt song . i dont want to . and he said , i will regret . then he say dierh dh kene tdo , bini dh mara . and he say , he's sleeping over at her hse . i cried for a long time at home . rabak .

the nxt day , otw to sch , i was listening to sad song . as usual klau tgh sedih . then , dh nk masok gate , mate dh berair . dh nk nanges . smpai skola , msok klaz , ltk bag , gy toilet , gelap2 , srg2 , nanges . i ask aisyah for penknife . and i cut myself in the toilet . idk how i cn do it . i oways want to do , bt tk brani . tapy ni , tk tau mcm manerh boleyh buat . i knw its stupid . i regret nt to let the guys beat him that time . tau biar drg pukol smpai dierh mati pn bgs . her gf name , shahirah . and he say sorry many times . he ask me to hate hym and whatevr . mcm phm . ros tried to bring me to him , i dont want . they take the penknife frm me . they hide it . then when i get new penknife at class , they snatch it and hug me , tahan my tgn , and i cried coz i really want to hurt myself . ros said that he said to ros that he loves me more than that gerl and he swear . he said to me at msg he pitied me . he hate to see me cry . he dont let me to hurt myself and whatevr . he said he feel bad i would cut myself , ros slap him for me . today , he said he try nt to lie again to me as he want to gain back my love . then i ask if he really love her , he said , 'yes , hioww .' . thats what he said . exactly . then , he is going to tell me evrything facetoface sch reopen . well , frens , be by my side pls on that day . im so weak , i cnt go through this alone . i rmmbr fri msg nabil i said my hp bengkok coz campak , he said i deserve it . and i ask why , he said , 'tgok diri u dulu ahk .' exact word . haiz , mayb its true .

well , hanafi mataer with that gerl coz his fren ask him to mataer with that gerl as drg dari dulu ttm . wth . if he really love me , he wont do it evn he was force to , right ? or mayb he will break with that gerl . haiz .

im so hurt , so sad , so weak . thanks to all my fren who was there for me . thanks for hasya to let me hug u . i rmmber when i hug u , i cry more . and to all my fren who confront me , pujok me . to all who stop me from cutting myself again . i feel like buying a penknife . theres about 4 scar on my hand . not that many right ? haiz . actually , he promise nt to lie , nt to hurt me , promise to w8 for me . promise nt to leave me . haiz . bt u break all the promises . u once told me one of the reason u love me bcoz i am not like a brat . so now u think she is the one not like a brat ? right ? haiz . i need time to cure my heart . and i knw it takes a long time . really long . i will still cry evn aftr a long time this has happend . i knw . haiz . i just need to sabar . i really love hym . evn this thing makes me hate hym . makes me want hym to die , makes me want to kill hym , avoid hym and all . but i reallly love hym . haizzz . idk this would happen , again . im tired of this . haizzz . :( i feel so weak , no appetite to eat and all . very weak . mayb i deserve it , right ? haiz . ):

well ,

2009-09-04T22:28:00.000-07:00

well , actually , many events had happened . i wanted to post , bt i chged my mind . the pic i want to put all , i delete . i wont post about it . well , only a short one . this wk , mom had buy new gosok bju . yg steam punyerh . mcm kt kdai2 bju . well , tt day beli laci bru , then saw dulunyerh masjid an-nur nyerh tudong . and wear it . pipi teklua . haha . well , tt day mom go johor , buy telinge gajah , cool uyh ! well , till here . i want to post new post .

update soon aitess .

2009-09-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

ppl , i will be updating blog so0n aitesss . lazyy . and , idk why , im lazy to msg and all . so , update this blog so0n . insyaallah . thankyou for ur undrstnding . (: and , 20mre days to raye . (: